CML News, an affiliate of Cranky Man’s Lawn, is working on a story certain to shatter Governor Chris Christie‘s George Washington Bridge vendetta controversy.

Confidential sources indicate that not only did officials in Christie administration order the closing of bridge lanes to punish Fort Lee Mayor Mark Sokolich for his non-support of Christie’s gubernatorial bid, they directed the use of pallets of Velveeta Cheese to accomplish their dastardly deed!Their wanton bid for political retribution not only inconvenienced scores of commuters, it has created a severe Velveeta Cheese shortage just in time for New Jersey’s first Superbowl!

Rumors that the 85 pallets of Velveeta came directly from Christie’s personal stash appear to be unfounded however.