(Just sharing the results for Cranky Man’s Lawn as compiled for all bloggers by WordPress.com, who host this blogging website. Happy New Year! – Mike)
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 6,200 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 10 years to get that many views.
“So, how do you guys make sure … ?”
Those words were a precursor to a Christmas experience I had yet to have the “pleasure” of experiencing. By the time I finished that sentence, I was having one of those little voice-in-the-back-of-the-head premonitions of impending Yuletide Aggravation.
We were Christmas tree shopping two weekends before the holiday. And we had found a suitable tree …
A suitable tree is a) alive, b) reasonably full and bushy, and c) fixable in places where it’s not reasonably full and bushy.
After looking at the first 45 trees, I usually remind my spousal unit that the tree doesn’t have to be “perfect”, which always gets me that “Thank you, Captain Obvious!” tilt-headed glare … which of course I live for!
As is the customary belief of REAL Christmas tree aficionados, Artificial Trees are reserved for soul-less, Just-Add-Water, Communists.
Fidel Castro extolling the perfect alignment of artificial Communist Christmas trees.
… and so we arrange for a tree-rustler to grab our prized evergreen and head off to The Prep Area, where the tree trunk gets a fresh cut and – in our case – a hole drilled up the middle of the trunk to accommodate our center-post tree stand.
For years and years we used the traditional four-point screw clamp tree stands and never seemed to have a problem. Then twice in three years we had trees topple over for no apparent reason; one time as we were walking out the door to Christmas Eve Mass.
And ever since we have relied upon our Center Post tree stand.
And this is where Christmas 2012 took its unanticipated cruise through uncharted waters.
The Mistake I made was to ignore the visual warning signs, despite the “uh oh” feeling I experienced after the following conversation, which resulted from my evaluation of the center post, tree-drilling set-up.
“Hey, I’m just curious, but I notice you guys don’t have the usual self-check fixture on the top of the drill rig.” (as had been used at other tree establishments in years past).
“Yeah, well … the grounds not very level here, so we can’t use the fixture as intended or the trees will come out drilled crookedly.”, our tree rustler offered.
“So, how do you guys make sure you drill the tree straight?”, I asked.
“Oh well, I’ll hold the tree in place as straight as I can; and The Driller checks the alignment from three directions to make sure we get it straight.”
uh huh …
Actually, there were two mistakes made here.
The first was to turn our annual Christmas tree purchase into an hunt, where we tour 4or 5 road-side tree lots before we head back to our usual Christmas tree merchant because no tree anywhere else jumps out and screams, “MERRY CHRISTMAS!!” at my lovely wife, Carol with sounds of Schroeder, Lucy and the rest of the Charlie Brown gang singing Christmas Time is Here.
The second mistake was not bailing out as soon as I saw the tree-drilling set up or after hearing that explanation. It just didn’t occur to me that if the drill rig was not level, even if the tree was visually “straight”, the “crooked” drill rig would …
Well … you can guess what happened next.
Get the tree home, but wait until the next day – December 16 – to pop the tree into the center post tree stand. At first I didn’t notice the Leaning Tree of Holiday Anguish. I usually allow the tree to stand in the warm house so it falls out from its tightly wrapped handling and transportation configuration.
The next morning, I come down stairs on my way to work and check to see how the tree is looking.
Oh no … You have got to be kidding me! Crooked?!? The damn thing is CROOKED!!!
At first I thought maybe the tree’s trunk is twisted. So I turned the tree on its stand looking for both The Good Side of the evergreen and an angle where it didn’t look like a drunk leaning against a lamp post. But no matter which way it was turned it somehow looked even worse!
2012 Tannenbaum II
So this Christmas season offered me the one holiday experience I had yet to encounter … The Retail Return of a Christmas Tree. After 50-plus years of Yuletide experience, you tend to believe you have seen it all.
Silly Santa …
Now some might say we were callous to reject an imperfect specimen. Yes, it wasn’t the tree’s fault. It was the boobs on the business end of a lopsided drill rig.
The tree vendors were nice enough about it. They offered me another tree or a refund. I made a cursory glance around for a replacement; although I have to admit, I didn’t WANT to find another one, also subject to the same off-kilter drilling process.
The tree purveyors offered a smile with my refund; and I trudged on back to the same old place we usually go, where the trees are on display with their trunks pre-drilled so there’s no guesswork involved. We ended up buying Tannenbaum II at our usual place and enjoyed a visually balanced Christmas tree!
The moral of the story is … “Familiarity breeds content.”
Also … “If it sounds too stupid to be done correctly, listen to that little voice in the back of your head.”
Way too bold to be from D.C.
There was a point in my life – a long, long time ago in a land far away – that I waited not-so-patiently for late Saturday afternoons when I could hijack the family TV (NEVER during a Notre Dame football game!) and flip on ABC’s Wide World of Sports. WWS was a hodgepodge of traditional, niche market sports such as the Penn Relays, amateur boxing, international soccer (Remember now, this was the 1960s.) and some really arcane competitions like barrel-jumping. (Who doesn’t enjoy a good barrel-jump crash?!?) and the iconic cliff diving competitions from La Quebrada, near Acapulco, Mexico.
Cliff diving – it appears – is making a big comeback!
No, this version does not include majestic vistas of bright sunlight glistening off blue water as a backdrop to a group of whacked-out daredevils perched on a rock sitting perilously close to a huge cliff that looks a mile high even on black & white TV (the 1960s … Remember?).
No, this fiscal cliff diving version just includes the whacked-out daredevils.
No Speedos, please
Now admit it … Wouldn’t you just LOVE this fiscal nonsense as REAL cliff-diving?!? Are you a bit twisted, just enough that you would enjoy this political pissing contest just a little bit, if it included the possibility that John Boehner, President Obama, Harry Reid and – please, please, please – Nancy Pelosi could possibly … just maybe … go SPLAT at the bottom of the shallow end???
Hmmm … But that would leave Joe Biden in charge.
Well, this is hypothetical; so let’s push that thought way, way back into that Dark Space we reserve for the Zombie Apocalypse, IRS audits, and Nicki Minaj.
Where was I?!? Oh yeah … cliff diving …
Full-length burka only
Anyways, cliff diving competitions use of method of score-keeping that emphasizes style, creativity, and a difficulty factor in lieu of how many jumps you make before going SPLAT or the number of broken bones should you survive.
That’s the way I would score it. But remember, I also like a good barrel-jumping crash!
Now, regardless of where you stand on the impending Thelma & Louise act (Obama as Susan Sarandon’s Louise, of course) currently being played out on the cliffs overlooking Washington, D.C., it’s best to be prepared when it’s your turn to Follow-the-Leaders over a perfectly good cliff.
Frankly, I really could not care less about the Fiscal Cliff.
My long, long-standing federal employment never required me to pay into or rely upon Social Security (Thank God!). So not only did I NOT benefit from the Bush tax cuts, which were applied to Social Security taxes, I will not suffer from their expiration either. And maybe … just maybe … we actually NEED this to happen. Afterall, 51% of the Electorate did not give a rat fart about the Economy during the November election, so why worry about it now?!?
Yes, in that regard I am a bit selfish.
The reality is that BOTH parties would probably benefit from a hand-holding cliff dive, no doubt screaming “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” all the way to the bottom. President Obama could then brag that he faced down the terrible Republicans, who realize that raising taxes in a bad Economy is a really stupid idea. (Apparently so does The President, since he couples his demand for increased marginal tax rates on the wealthy with a $50 billion stimulus package.)
The Republicans – on the other hand – can claim they never gave in to the anti-economy, income-redistributing Democrats. (Is there really any other explanation for taking from the rich with one hand and pushing out a stimulus with the other when the “real issue” is supposed to be deficit reduction?) All told, The President’s proposal amounts to a $1.6 TRILLION in new taxes and spending, and $400 billion – or 2.5% of the total $16 TRILLION of National Debt – in deficit reductions!
As one critique described it, “Four hundred billion in spending cuts is like forgoing the monogrammed towels in the 16th bathroom of a 52,000 square foot house.”
So, if you too are willing to embrace the possibility of becoming a mushy piece of fiscal fish food, now is the time to consider your approach to Taking the Dive. Will you scream like a teenage girl on the Tower of Terror? Will you stick out a stiff upper lip and leap with resignation and a modicum of dignity? Or will you dive with flair and style, performing a triple flip with a full twist while singing Madonna‘s classic, “Material Girl (Guy)” all the way to the bottom?
And if you’re wondering how it all came to this, to ridiculous deficits, to abject failure in Leadership for addressing the excess in deficit spending, to the notion that raising taxes on 2% of the population – as if forgoing the monogrammed towels – is a “solution”, then simply check out the story this week coming out of Detroit’s City Council.
Hey, $200 million here, $200 million there … What’s the BIG DEAL, right? At least we now know why Detroit voted Obama … To bring home “the bacon”!
Tocqueville, South of France (1992)
As historic French cliff-diver, Alexis de Tocqueville is rumored to have said,
“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the majority discovers it can vote itself free stuff * out of the public treasury.”
(* OK … He actually said, “… largesse …”. )
With that in mind, allow me to recommend the following in cliff-diving hints and suggestions:
1. Never hit the water head-first, as dives above 85 feet can result in concussion. (How high exactly is a $16 trillion dollar stack of Benjamins?!?)
B. Select a spot along the cliff with an unobstructed view all the way down to almost certain Death.
4. No Speedos for men. Women? Topless, of course.
iii) Poise precariously on the smooth rock of Economic Sanity; time the incoming wave of debris from the Eurozone; and push away violently from this amazing fustercluck.
p. Immediately assume the simple pike position; feet wisely pointed down; and extend the middle digits on both hands as you sing the following verse from Sarah Johns’ The One in the Middle:
And now I’m giving you the one in the middle,
The one that’s a little bit longer.
And I have another one on the other hand,
So I can say it even stronger.
Friends, BooBirds, Tailgaters, lend me your ears.
I come to praise Caesar, not to bury him!
.
This literary audible on the famous words of renown football commentator, Bill Shakespeare, is a fitting summary of what this humble post will attempt to accomplish. The obvious, sorry state of The Philadelphia Eagles makes it all but certain that Andy Reid will lose his position as Head Coach, as well as his other hat as Executive Vice President of Football Operations.
Some will view Reid’s departure from Lincoln Financial Field as the End of an Era. A few – for some reason – will view it as the End of an Error. And many will see it simply as the final comeuppance for The Emporer Without Cloths, Philly’s own Football Caesar.
The pressure will be on Laurie to find not just a replacement, but an improvement.
No doubt those who would rather subscribe to the original Shakespearean version (i.e. to Bury, not to Praise) lost patience with Andy Reid a long time ago. They soured on Andy Reid’s tight-lipped, team first, “I have to do a better job. Time’s yours.” public persona. To many fans this media approach was seen as a refusal to take responsibility, an attempt to avoid the kind of painfully in-depth scrutiny Philadelphia sports fans thrive upon, perhaps even a touch of how-dare-you-question-me football hubris.
The act worked just fine for Reid when the Eagles were regularly advancing deep into the NFL playoffs, not so much once The Birds started to moult.
The Fall wasn’t really precipitous in my opinion; more like a long, slow glide down the Slope of Mediocrity.
A few facts and observations before I get to the objective of this post.
An intriguing move that simply didn’t work out.
poor draft choices, through questionable free agent signings, to truly mind-boggling coaching staff decisions … The development of Michael Vick into Quarterback That Can Run vs. Running Quarterback has not worked. The Juan Castillo Experiment was an abject failure. Danny Watkins, Nate Allen, Jaiquawn Jarrett …??? Please …
And yet, none of the above is what I really want to write about here. I’d much rather concentrate on what went right early on in Reid’s tenure, and how it turned around a team and captured a city that – for some reason – so closely associates its image with those of its sports teams.
That’s not to say the trip was a bed of roses. Five appearances in the NFC Championship with only ONE Superbowl appearance – and a loss at that – will stick in the craw of many an Eagles fan (mine included). One wonders just how much brighter Reid’s star would have shined had he won just ONE of those five elusive Superbowl opportunities.
The question perhaps comes down to this … Is it better to be a Marv Levy (Buffalo Bills – Superbowl appearances: 4, Lombardo trophies: 0) or Jon Gruden (Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Superbowl appearances: 1, Lombardi trophies: 1)? That the Reid version of Marv Levy involves five NFC Championships and just one Superbowl, not four or five Superbowl appearances certainly makes the issue a bit thornier, I admit.
I have always found it interesting that so many Philadelphia Eagles fans defined a “succesful Eagles season” – especially during the Reid Era – as one that absolutely, positively had to end in a Superbowl. There rarely seemed to be any credit from so many fans for getting to the NFC Championship, which essentially defines an NFL team as one of the four most successful organizations in a given season, which always starts with a field of 32!
That simply never seemed to be enough, at least not after that first one.
Once simply wasn’t enough
There seemed to be little recognition of how hard it is to simply GET to the NFL’s Final Four, let alone what it might take to beat the other three very successful clubs in the Lombardi Tournament. Perhaps that was the result of Andy Reid’s phenomenally quick success in reaching the NFC Championship (2001) in only his third season as Head Coach.
I cannot recall ever hearing that only a World Series Championship or a Stanley Cup would qualify as a “successful season” for the Phillies or Flyers. Would Reid’s star retained its luster longer had his Eagles’ success been built slower – over say 6-8 seasons – as opposed to an NFC Championship Game in just three?
But I digress …
No, thank you …
When Andy Reid was hired in 1999 by new owner Jeffrey Lurie, the Eagles were coming off 3-13 and 6-9-1 seasons under Ray Rhodes. Before Rhodes the head coach position had been held by Rich Kotite and Buddy Ryan. All three had coached to varying levels of very limited success accompanied by frustrating failure. The only playoff showing among those three coaches had occurred in 1988, under Buddy Ryan, when the season ended in abject depression with a loss to the Chicago Bears in the game still known as The Fog Bowl.
Before the 2001 season, Philadelphia Eagles fans had to travel all the way back to the Dick Vermiel years (1976-1982) to scrounge up the last memory of playoff success with the 1980 Superbowl loss to the Oakland Raiders.
God, no …
Andy Reid, hired “off the board” as a Quarterbacks Coach under the tutelage of Mike Holmgren with the Green Bay Packers, was able to change most of that depressing history. He impressed Jeff Laurie and Joe Banner with his binders full of detailed blueprints for the short-term revival of a lost football franchise. In the end he completed the transformation of the Philadelphia Eagles into franchise that elicited talk of The Gold Standard. Yet Reid could never quite get over the Lombardi Hump and bring Philadelphia an NFL Championship.
Just shoot me!
But the fact is he did an amazing job in a very, very short period of Football Time! Not only did he get the Eagles into the NFC Championship in just his third year, he completely altered the Philadelphia NFL experience. He made the Eagles FUN to watch.
His early drafts brought in many of The Right Kind of players … from taking a 3rd round chance on an undersized, local product with a questionable knee-injury in Brian Westbrook (Villanova) to grabbing cornerbacks Lito Sheppard and Sheldon Brown in that same 2003 draft, and yes, even the drafting of Donovan McNabb, the quarterback the Philadelphia Eagles needed at the time.
The 1999 drafting of Donovan McNabb was a development over which Reid was initially criticized, as anyone familiar with Eagles history will surely remember. When the talk radio yahoos clamored for the drafting of running back, Ricky Williams engineered that New York Draft Day debacle of “Eagles fans” booing the team’s first round decision to forego the University of Texas running back, Reid stuck to his plan and selected the quarterback he knew the Eagles needed.
The infamous boos were actually for the decision not to take Williams, not the drafting of McNabb!
The dopes booed the pick, not the man.
McNabb was taken second overall behind QB Tim McCouch (Yes, the correct response is “Who?!?”), and before QB Akili Smith (“Who?!?” again, no doubt!).
The coveted Ricky Williams was not taken until the fifth overall pick by New Orleans Saints; was traded to the Miami Dolphins in 2002 after two 1000-yard rushing seasons; and was – by 2004 – retiring temporarily after several failed drug tests and diagnoses of depression and social anxiety disorder.
Yet you rarely heard those very people giving Andy Reid credit for taking the best player that fit the Philadelphia Eagles needs at that time, even if McNabb also proved unable to bring the Vince Lombardi Trophy to an NFL Championship-starved city.
And sure, there were enough Freddie Mitchell, Jerome McDougles and Matt McCoys in there as well; but every NFL draft is a mix of Can’t Misses and Hopeful Prayers. Yet Reid’s early drafts were composed of many more successes than failures in the premium “money rounds” that enabled the team to compete at a high level from 2001 through 2010 (off years: 2005, 2007).
The possibilities are enough to make this Eagles fan cry.
For this Philadelphia Eagles fan, who lived through the Eddie Khayats, the Marion Campbells, the Mike McCormicks, the Rich Kotites, there is no desire to return to the years of revolving-door coaches and clueless player development (See Pete Liske, Leroy Keyes, Kevin Allen, Mike Mamula).
You had to live the late 1960s, 1970s and 1990s to develop a true appreciation for a Head Coach/General Manager who can think and chew gum at the same time. Those have been few and far between for Philadelphia Eagles fans!
These experiences – growing up with football futility in northeast Philadelphia – probably goes a long way towards explaining my advanced Sports Anxiety at the prospects of another potential period of Head Coach Experimentation.
So it will be interesting to see how all the Andy Reid critics will react should their beloved Eagles spend the next several seasons wandering aimlessly in the NFL desert, going through head coaches like the late Al Davis and his Oakland Raiders. Hopefully it won’t come to that. But if it does, part of me will be smirking; reminding all those haters about The Reid Years; and checking out Andy Reid’s new team, as he surely won’t last very long on the open market.
Dick Vermeil
So where will Andy Reid settle in the pantheon of Eagles coaches? Certainly, he will never be considered “The Best”, if NFL Championships are the only measure. Greasy Neale (a football name if ever there was one) won back-to-back pre-Superbowl NFL Championships in 1948 and ’49.
Here are the highlights from Andy Reid’s Eagles reign:
The most interesting discussion will revolve around Dick Vermeil-Andy Reid comparisons. Vermeil – like Reid – achieved a Superbowl berth only once, but he never enjoyed the run of playoff successes that Reid did. Some will undoubtedly give the nod to Vermeil, citing Reid’s four failed NFC Championship appearances as testament to Reid’s poor in-game management. One could argue that Vermeil might have pulled off more than one success out of those five Conference title games; then again Vermeil only managed to get there once himself during his Eagles tenure.
For me, the list will read NFL Hall-of-Fame member Greasy Neale, Andy Reid, Dick Vermeil, Buck Shaw (1960 NFL Championship, but only three seasons with the Eagles) and a whole lot of frustration.
But this is perhaps the only context in which I will freely admit I have no desire to relive the ’70s!
Good luck, Big Guy, wherever you land!
Caring friends who lend a hand 
Our families here and across the land
Relief for those in Sandy’s wake
National pride despite political make
Unconditional love of a family pet
Courage displayed by selfless Vets
Opportunity for those unafraid of labor
Peace and tranquility for all our neighbors
Intimate moments with those you love
And all these blessings from God above!
Every so often on my way to work, as I enter Philly via Cheltenham I come across a red Prius – a Hybrid no doubt – sporting a red bumper sticker that states
Usually I just get a chuckle out of it; shake my head; and move along. That’s just my first reaction however. I might also ponder what reason or purpose these creatures would serve, if not those so clearly expressed on the back of my favorite red Toyota Prius hybrid. How might I classify such purposeless creatures?
But since the last time I saw the aforementioned bumper sticker, it has been tugging at my brain like a persistent 3-year-old. I simply can’t shake the nagging question of what exactly such Tasty Animals were intended for, if not Exploitation by Man. With another Thanksgiving approaching, a holiday when many a stately bird is sacrificed in the name of the National Family Holiday, it seems to be an appropriate time to consider this problem.
Two’s a secret; three’s a conspiracy …
It’s an interesting conundrum, with many little twists and turns that really make you think about the ecosystem Man inhabits and his effects on said system. But in the interest of Full Disclosure, I have to be honest in admitting I really, really, really love a good ribeye! Especially one done on a very hot barbie, where the fat cracks and sizzles as it melts and adds that unmistakable flavor to moist, tender beef …
Geez, I’m sweating …
Anyways, I’m always struck by the compassion and sensitivity of the Meat is Murder (MIM) crowd. They are passionate. They are committed. They are plainly speaking from the heart for those species that cannot speak for themselves, that cannot lobby their rights, that are truly at the mercy of Man.
But let’s think about that one … Would it be any different if Man wasn’t the dominate species?
Pomegranate-enslaved humanoid
In researching the subject of Meat is Murder, I ran across the following argument, “Suppose a species larger and smarter than man existed on Earth.”
What if the Pomegranates were perched at the top of the food chain?
(I know … pomegranates?!? Bare with me.)
My guess is that a lot of us would be lying low in the weeks running up to Thanksgiving, should our sweet human meat enjoy the status as the National Foodstuff of Master Pomegranate’s Black Friday Eve. But if that were the case, it would – most likely – be a condition that developed over the course of Nature’s millennia.
Unless of course, we speak of an alien Pomegranate species from another galaxy, roaming the star systems in search of good fertilizer and moderate growing temps; pillaging this Big Blue Marble; and feasting on local populations.
In either case, the Pecking Order would have been established – as it always is – based entirely on which species was stronger, more adaptive, of greater intelligence, and possessing the more highly developed kitchen cutlery. The Stronger hunt and kill; they domesticate the Weaker species; some they would eat; some they would ride; some they would use for clothing or entertainment.
Pomegranates: proficient breeders whose offspring are capable of forming intricate designs in the wild
Of course, from our point of view this situation would suck. It would especially suck if it happened at the hands of alien Pomegranates that supplant us at the peak of the Big Blue Marble food chain. All of us turkeys-in-waiting would be cursed with the KNOWLEDGE what was at steak.
Sorry … Couldn’t help myself.
But let’s not kid ourselves, if Pomegranates took a page from the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, they would do what they wanted with us. This is until we stopped them. No touch-y feel-y existentialism would likely alter the end result – Cranky Giblets! (Just in case, here’s how to avenge Humankind.) This is – not surprisingly – what our REAL, current carnivore competitors do TO US when we wander into their oh-sh*t-where-the-hell’s-the-truck/boat territory.
Survival of the strongest …
Now the MIM crowd would argue that Man – as the more intelligent species – should be much more sensitive to the plight of the lesser animals. Perhaps we were back when Man was still living in caves and limited to eating nuts and berries.
I tend to believe that the definition of Animal Husbandry changed dramatically and irreversibly when that first caveman found out what fire roasted meat tasted like. From then on, the over-riding quest became finding the best way to roast, grill, bake, or broil the perfect piece of meat.
Don’t let this …
And as anyone who has tried to go back to the Nut ‘n Berry route after years of steaks and breast meat can tell you, it ain’t all that easy trying to put THAT genie back in the bottle!
And while we’re at it, why would The Line be drawn at Animal/Vegetable by the MIM crowd? What about the feelings and sensitivities of our plentiful Plant life?!? Nope, the MIMs don’t want to go there! How could they possibly push BOTH concepts of “Meat is Murder” and “Salad is Murder”???
Yet there are numerous studies on the intelligence, reactive capabilities, and even communication behavior of plants. But the MIM crowd doesn’t want us marching down that road … Recoiling at the screams of the Chick Peas as they are conveyed in the millions towards the HummusMasher 8000!
… or this happen to YOU!
No … No … Picking among species we are “allowed” to eat would defeat the purpose, because no truly sensitive, well-adjusted, in-tune with Nature being should be able to do that! So, we are left to our own devices in determining the whys and hows of an Animal/Plant line of demarcation.
But here’s the Key Point …
You can be certain that if the Pomegranates truly ruled The Planet, and along the way developed a taste for Human spareribs; we’d all be hiding right next to the turkeys in the weeks leading up to Black Friday Eve!
It’s almost Winter … yippee …
Soon the frost will be on the pumpkin; the snow will be on the roof; the chestnuts will be roasting; and I’ll be moaning and groaning. I like this time of year; I hate this time of year.
Yes, I’m certain that makes sense.
In any case, here be your last Lawn Epistle for 2012!
If you have been a loyal reader and pay attention to my long-winded rants on lawn care, you are more than familiar with my oft cranky, frantic pleadings of … Fertilize! Fertilize! For the love of God … Fertilize!
I do get a bit exuberant about it.
Another season is coming to a close. But as with many aspects of Life on this Big Blue Marble upon which we live, the end of one cycle signals the beginning of another. And as any true Lawn Junkie will tell you, the Seeds of Success for the coming Spring – no matter how miserable I might be while waiting out Winter – are sown in the barren chill of transitional Fall.
My point?? Fertilize … Fertilize … Ferti …
Sorry.
The point is you – Dear Lawn Buddy – have ONE MORE treatment left before you can look forward to the next three months of Leisure, like a 1st grade school teacher at the end of May! Let’s review …
It’s too late when it looks like this …
Winterfeed (from an earlier Epistle)
The last step for the Fall, is a Winter feeding that should be applied no later than mid-November. The Winter feed goes right to the grass’ roots and is stored there over the Winter. Once Spring arrives, the root-stored nutrients will give your lawn a growth boost to start the season off right,
Yes, that says “mid-November! And no, I haven’t done mine yet. But it’s at the top of the chore list for this weekend!
The important thing to remember is that the Winter feeding has to be accomplished before the grass goes dormant for the Winter. If you have treated your lawn nicely, you are also still mowing … just less frequently … as your grass should continue to grow until the first REAL frost sets in.
Now, time is a wastin’! We are at the very latest point for putting down the last feeding of the year. So get to it … and enjoy your Winter downtime!
… if this Spring you want it to look like this!
A few stories and events to consider as we observe Veteran’s Day 2012:
LINDSTROM, FLOYD K.
Rank and organization: Private First Class, U.S. Army, 3d Infantry Division. Place and date: Near Mignano, Italy, 11 November 1943. Entered service at: Colorado Springs, Colo. Birth: Holdredge, Nebr. G.O. No.: 32, 20 April 1944.
Citation: For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at risk of life above and beyond the call of duty. On 11 November 1943, this soldier’s platoon was furnishing machinegun support for a rifle company attacking a hill near Mignano, Italy, when the enemy counterattacked, forcing the riflemen and half the machinegun platoon to retire to a defensive position. Pfc. Lindstrom saw that his small section was alone and outnumbered 5 to 1, yet he immediately deployed the few remaining men into position and opened fire with his single gun. The enemy centered fire on him with machinegun, machine pistols, and grenades. Unable to knock out the enemy nest from his original position, Pfc. Lindstrom picked up his own heavy machinegun and staggered 15 yards up the barren, rocky hillside to a new position, completely ignoring enemy small arms fire which was striking all around him. From this new site, only 10 yards from the enemy machinegun, he engaged it in an intense duel. Realizing that he could not hit the hostile gunners because they were behind a large rock, he charged uphill under a steady stream of fire, killed both gunners with his pistol and dragged their gun down to his own men, directing them to employ it against the enemy. Disregarding heavy rifle fire, he returned to the enemy machinegun nest for 2 boxes of ammunition, came back and resumed withering fire from his own gun. His spectacular performance completely broke up the German counterattack. Pfc. Lindstrom demonstrated aggressive spirit and complete fearlessness in the face of almost certain death.
1865 – Dr. Mary Edward Walker, 1st Army female surgeon, was awarded Medal of Honor by Pres. Andrew Johnson for her work as a field doctor for outstanding service at the Battle of Bull Run, at the Battle of Chickamauga, as a Confederate prisoner of war in Richmond, Va., and at the Battle of Atlanta.
MULLIN, HUGH P.
Rank and organization: Seaman, U.S. Navy. Born: 20 March 1878, Richmond, Ill. Accredited to: Illinois. G.O. No.: 537, 8 January 1900. Citation: On board the U.S.S. Texas during the coaling of that vessel at Hampton Roads, Va., 11 November 1899. Jumping overboard while wearing a pair of heavy rubber boots and at great risk to himself, Mullin rescued Alfred Kosminski, apprentice, second class, who fell overboard, by supporting him until he was safely hauled from the water.
Interesting Veteran’s events occurring on November 11:
Inscription on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
1921 – Exactly three years after the end of World War I, the Tomb of the Unknowns is dedicated at Arlington Cemetery in Virginia during an Armistice Day ceremony presided over by President Warren G. Harding.
1942 – Congress approves lowering the draft age to 18 and raising the upper limit to age 37. In September 1940, Congress, by wide margins in both houses, passed the Burke-Wadsworth Act, and the first peacetime draft was imposed in the history of the United States. The registration of men between the ages of 21 and 36 began exactly one month later. There were some 20 million eligible young men-50 percent were rejected the very first year, either for health reasons or because 20 percent of those who registered were illiterate. But by November 1942, with the United States now a participant in the war, and not merely a neutral bystander, the draft ages had to be expanded; men 18 to 37 were now eligible. Blacks were passed over for the draft because of racist assumptions about their abilities and the viability of a mixed-race military.
1992 – By letter, Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators that Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II and some were “summarily executed”.
2000 – President Bill Clinton led groundbreaking ceremonies in Washington DC for the National WW II Memorial.
(The above information extracted from This Day in U.S. Military History.)
“Uh oh …” was my reaction Tuesday night after our poll (Horsham 1-3) closed and our group sat around a table as the votes were tallied. I hadn’t been expecting a Miracle (Rooney over Schwartz), but I thought the Hail Mary (Romney over Obama) might connect. And if not that, then surely the Hare would beat the Tortoise (Smith vs. Casey).
I hadn’t felt particularly confident in the days leading up, even as I pushed the message and radiated a positive demeanor. But when I saw The GOP Headliner up by only 35 votes in our precinct, I was immediately apprehensive.
Beginning Wednesday, I tried several times to write a perspective on the results of Tuesday’s election, but they sounded either vindictive or whiny. The last thing I wanted to do was place blame on someone – like those misguided attempts to vilify NJ Governor Chris Christie. So instead, I’ll just throw out some of my own perceptions, and let it go at that. Bigger Republican minds will grope with this problem, and I’m pretty sure they won’t be placing any calls my way.
Damn good question … Hard to imagine it happening when any Moderate running for The Oval Office feels compelled to zig hard to the Right to survive a primary campaign, then zag back to the Political Middle where all the undecideds reside. What results are too many YouTube moments and enough potential flip-flops to shod a herd of shoobies.
Said Moderate has to stick to his guns; run as a Moderate; and let the dip chips fall where they may. A Conservative doesn’t have that problem in the primary battles; but in this case at least, it probably wouldn’t have altered the outcome.
Seems to me that a Moderate Democrat finds it much, much easier to zig to the Left and then zag back to the Middle than it is for a Republican to do so on the other side. Quite the conundrum …
A disaster from the instant the question was asked during a primary debate in Iowa. How does one candidate – let alone an entire party of them – sell themselves as pragmatic Budget Solvers when not one of them jumped on the theoretical $10 in budget reductions for a $1 boost in taxes deal? Just call it the Norquist Curse.
Romney’s tax returns were an albatross throughout the election, although I supported the position that they were irrelevant and simply political noise created by the Democrats to keep Mitt off-balance.
What I would have done was to release all those past tax returns (assuming there’s nothing mortally wounding in them) during the Democratic National Convention. The Dems would have been sufficiently distracted and the media ruckus the returns stirred up would have pulled some of the limelight away from the DNC fest.
Appears that at least 50% of the Electorate either doesn’t really care or they have a warped sense of how long – in Economic terms – four years really is. Perhaps a new Rule is necessary for limiting how long an incumbent can keep blaming his predecessor for the difficulties of Leadership. One wonders whom President Obama will blame now that he’s the Predecessor-elect …
In my humble opinion, bringing this up in a Presidential election year was a classic case of unholstering the sidearm; pointing it at the top of your Oxford wingtip; and letting loose a round. Even if it wasn’t intended to influence a specific election, it sure LOOKED like it was! So, let’s keep pushing the current initiative to its conclusion and provide another layer of security to an important process. Just leave the politics out of it!
I’m dancing through the minefield here; because for many fellow Republicans these issues will remain of paramount importance. These issues, which include such demographically loaded issues as immigration and gay rights, will continue to be an albatross that prevents the GOP from broadening its political base.
My point here is that, with all the other more direct and pressing problems the Nation faces, we – as a Party – must recognize the political limitations and liabilities these positions represent.
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Voter impressions from Election Day:
It’s always a fun distraction, while spending a day at the polls, to watch the infrequent voters who only show up for the Big Headline elections. You can spot them when they come in the door, looking as if they just stepped through a portal into another dimension. Is this the right place? Where do I go? Who ARE these people?!?
Pet peeve of mine are those voters who think we have important elections only once every four years.
One woman – with child in tow – had no idea where she was supposed to vote, and instead of taking responsibility for no knowing for herself, promptly and loudly complained that WE weren’t being helpful enough!
Reminded me of a moment during the 2008 election when – again – all the infrequent voters popped up to make their preferences known. One voter, who seemed more interested in proving a “voter suppression conspiracy” than figuring out where her polling place was located, accused us of attempting to suppress her rights when we asked for her place of residence which – by the way – determines which polling place to use.
Convinced we were trying to mislead into going somewhere else to vote (i.e. across the street!), she stormed past us – finger waving all the way – and up the three flights of stairs to the polling room. Five minutes later she comes quickly down the three flights of steps, head bowed, avoiding all eye-contact, and sheepishly walked across Meetinghouse Road to her proper poll location.
Learning something new:
One thing I learned this past Election Day was how Absentee Voters are prevented from casting in-person ballots. This question was brought up to me during the day, and I found out how it works from an election clerk as we watched the early returns at a local restaurant.
When an Absentee Ballot is mailed, the voting roll book is annotated with the fact that the Voter submitted such a ballot. The book is annotated, where the Voter would register with their signature, in red lettering so to be immediately noticeable.
And yes, this election clerk stated that several attempts were made by Absentee Voters to vote in person! When this happens the Absentee Ballot is removed from those to be counted at the end of the night, and the Voter is allowed to cast an in-person ballot. Of course the Voter does have the option to let the Absentee Ballot stand.
(A re-post from last year of a chance meeting of an interesting Vietnam-era vet in the leading up to another Veteran’s Day.)
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Carol and I were heading home from a visit to relatives in California on a flight out of LAX. As we settled into our seats, a man sat down next to me on what was to be a fully loaded flight. He was a tad older than me with a pleasant southern accent. He was headed to our intermediate point, Nashville. (Personal details have been left out of this story to preserve privacy.)
He was obviously alone, and we struck up a conversation … something with which I’m not always comfortable or likely to do on a crowded commercial flight.
Mr. Tennessee was on his way to family in Nashville, where he planned to make a new home after being forced – via eminent domain – to sell his house for a Southern California highway improvement. He was quite happy with this situation as he felt he had received a very fair buyout. He was a transplant who had settled in California out of the Vietnam-era military; and he was ready to use this life-changing opportunity to head back Home.
Tennessee told me at some point during our chat, he likes people and likes to talk until he runs out of interesting things to say. He did not disappoint …
So Tennessee launched into an overview of places he had served in Vietnam and military units of which I could make little sense, let alone remember. He spoke indirectly about some of the things he had seen there and of some of the things he did. He also spoke of more peaceful experiences he had enjoyed while in-country and how he felt his service there had shaped his later life. He expressed his admiration for those serving now, and spoke of how serving in the military has changed since he served as a volunteer in a draft-filled military.
Needless to say, I was in full Listening Mode.
Then as the conversation became more two-sided, we shared what our fathers did during World War II. My dad serving in Alaska’s Aleutian Islands, then the Philippines preparing for the invasion of the Japanese home islands. His dad getting destroyers shot out from beneath him in the Pacific. Then Mr. Tennessee turned to what he did in his post-military work-a-day world. How much he enjoyed his sideline craftsman’s hobby; how he looked forward to doing it more – as a man of retired leisure – in his still-to-be-determined Nashville locale; how much he looked forward to his new life situation.
At one point during the 3 1/2 hours to Nashville, Carol leaned over and whispered, “Lucky you, you got the talker.” But I was having perhaps the most enjoyable flight ever. (Let’s face it! We’ve all looked around those departure gate waiting areas, picking out the people we don’t want to sit next to … especially not for a 4-hours flight!) I was enjoying the passing of time with good, interesting conversation with someone whose life experience was very different from my own.
It’s puzzling to me the way certain normal, everyday interactions pique my interest more so than other normal, everyday interactions. Maybe I project something onto them. Maybe I focus on interactions that fit in some way my view of the world. Maybe they just strike a chord in a place I value.
Anyways … I was happy for him – a complete stranger – and for the comfort level he found in his life. He seemed to have “It” figured out for himself; and he was at a good place. He seemed genuinely satisfied with Life and for what the Future held.
And who wouldn’t want to live in that part of Tennessee?!?
Cranky Man's Lawn 