Christmas Tree Wars

Yes, reader … It’s that time of the year once again!

Cranky Man's Lawn

crooked tree“So, how do you guys make sure … ?”

Those words were a precursor to a Christmas experience I had yet to have the “pleasure” of experiencing.  By the time I finished that sentence, I was having one of those little voice-in-the-back-of-the-head premonitions of impending Yuletide Aggravation.

We were Christmas tree shopping two weekends before the holiday.  And we had found a suitable tree …

A suitable tree is a) alive, b) reasonably full and bushy, and c) fixable in places where it’s not reasonably full and bushy.  

After looking at the first 45 trees, I usually remind my spousal unit that the tree doesn’t have to be “perfect”, which always gets me that “Thank you, Captain Obvious!” tilt-headed glare … which of course I live for!

As is the customary belief of REAL Christmas tree aficionados, Artificial Trees are reserved for soul-less, Just-Add-Water, Communists.

Fidel Castro extolling the virtues of a straight - but artificial - Christmas tree! Fidel Castro extolling the perfect alignment of artificial Communist Christmas trees.

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Ali is down!! Ali is down!!

My look back at the Ali-Frazier rivalry. Ali was a polarizing figure back in the late ’60s-early ’70s. I didn’t agree with him on much, but learned to respect his point-of-view on race and the Vietnam war.
In any case, there is no denying his athletic talent.

Cranky Man's Lawn

It’s funny how some events seem to stand out more brightly in the vast warehouse of memories we carry around.  It was forty – yes 40! – years ago today that the classic Muhammad Ali-Joe Frazier heavyweight championship fight took place at Madison Square Garden.  They haven’t made heavyweight matchups like this since … well, since then. 

I was not a big boxing fan as a kid, which makes that fact that the Ali-Frazier fight stands out in the memory all the more interesting.  I believe it has more to do with the political/social climate back in 1971, my awakening – if you will – to the important events going on around me, and with the development of  a 15-year-old’s social conscience as I sorted through and examined my own set of values, beliefs, and judgements. 

I can remember a fellow Immaculate Conception (Germantown, Philadelphia) classmate, Timothy Cantwell (another weirdly clear memory) trying to get me interested in the Cassius Clay-Sonny Liston fight in 1964.  At the time…

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Mao Lives!

Normally, I don’t pay a lot of attention to cars with vanity plates.  I find many of them too difficult to decipher … especially when tailgating … in traffic … trying to just read them.

But today, I stumbled on a discovery that shook me up …

Mao is alive!  And he has a LiMO!

But, Mao …. a Chevy Equinox?!?  How very proletariat!

 

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Cranky Man’s March: In like the Tundra, out like a Lawn

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Gentlemen, start your engines!

March 2016 has been a wacky ride so far in the SouthEast Region of Pennsylvania.  Started off nice enough; then turned windy and stormy; followed by two days in the 80s; then back to raw, windy Ides of March weather.  Now, there’s a whispered rumor of snow for this Sunday.

In other words, perfect late Winter lawn weather!

To complete the picture the early blooming trees are already out in pink, white, and lavender.  Soon Spring will have officially sprung!

As any dedicated lawn nerd knows, now is the time to get to work.  You had your post-holiday Winter weekends all to yourself, where your biggest worry was over-napping. (At least mine was …)

So let’s get crackin’ …

1. Love your Equipment, and it will Love you back!

Get your lawn mower into the shop for a seasonal tune-up that includes blade replacement.

I’m pretty good in Equipment Condition, having just bought a new grass-eater last June.  I will get a full season out my mower before worrying about a pre-season tune-up next year.  As for other equipment … like trimmers, edgers, and leaf blowers … I tend to simply use them until they die. To me sending them into the repair cycle is hardly cost-effective, given the relative affordability of smaller equipment and the Cheapness of their Owner. 

This year I plan to add a new blower/sweeper.  I just need to figure out if another gas model is needed, or if an electric version will do the job without too much aggravation.

2. Cut the lawn short to clean it up!

First thing I do every Spring is low-cut the lawn (i.e. lower than I would normally dare during the rest of the year).  This makes it easier to clean up the entire lawn of Winter debris, including loose twigs and soggy leaves.

After cutting one section (maybe 3-4 passes) I will use a rake to make sure I get up all the sodden leaves and debris buried deeper in the grass.  Particularly when it comes to those nasty, rotting leaves, it’s best to get them up.  Otherwise they tend to become a block to new spring growth, and if allowed to collect can kill underlying grass plants.

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obligatory Forsythia shot

3. Look to the Forsythia to Vanquish the Crab!

Crabgrass … That bane of Summer lawns, proliferates in the heat of the Summer.  The hotter, the better for the little bastards!

But crabgrass seedlings, left dormant over the long Winter, germinate in the early Spring, roughly around the time when average soil temperatures exceed 55° for three or more days.  Of course figuring out when that magical moment occurs is a bit more complicated than simply checking out ambient air temperatures since the ground always takes longer to warm than the air above it.

Fortunately, Mother Nature provides its own ground temp indication in the form of the Forsythia.  When the forsythia blooms, the ground temperatures will be just about right for your first lawn application of the season (Preemergent).  But if you cannot wait for Miss Forsythia to show her yellow blossoms, ’tis better to apply a preemergent early than late.

Frankly, I only concern myself with the front lawn at our house, since it’s the portion that gets exposed to the hottest periods of sun.  Our backyard is significantly more shaded, so crabgrass from experience has never been a serious issue …

Well, except for my one neighbor, who several seasons ago was raising more weeds than grass, including a copious assortment of bastard crabgrass plants.  They are much better lately.  We even cooperate on chickweed eradication.  But I still apply several passes of preemergent (and weed ‘n feed) along our common border.  I view it as similar to prophylactic doses of antibiotics! 

4.  Is Aerating over-rated?

Absolutely not!

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How core aerator works

I have written much on the whys, hows, and wherefores of aerating your lawn.  Aerating has numerous benefits to your lawn, especially if your lawn suffers a lot of foot traffic during the Summer.  Click HERE to link into a short discussion of aeration benefits and the proper equipment to use.

Aerating is a preferred time to add a layer of grass seed, known as over-seeding, to thicken your lawn.  It’s not necessary for lawns already sufficiently thick, and most lawns will thicken – if well fed – during the Spring growing season.  Skip over-seeding if you don’t need it!

BIG HINT TIME:  I know some people who will aerate twice every year.  Personally, I do it once a year, and even skip it if my timing doesn’t allow for it.  But trust me … If you aerate your lawn at all, don’t do it in September when Summer-baked soil will make ground penetration almost impossible.  Aerate in the early Spring when Winter snows and Spring rain renders the soil softer and easier for the aerator to do its job properly! 

5.  Weed ‘n Feed done right at the right time.

Timing is important – for several reasons – when applying weed ‘n feed.  The first crucial factor is to make sure, if you applied a preemergent earlier, to wait 4-6 weeks before applying any other fertilizer.

Second, decide whether you need a “direct application” to eradicate weeds that are present, or whether your lawn is sufficiently weed-free to use a simpler momentum-type product to maintain your lawn’s present balance.  Direct application products require wet conditions, either by using a liquid spray or by applying a sandy-type dry product early on dew-soaked mornings or right after a rain.

Your last “timing consideration” when fighting weeds is to watch the weather.  Weed control products require 48 hours of rain-free weather.  Otherwise the rain washes the direct-application product off the weeds, defeating the primary purpose of using them.

I like the sandy, dry weed ‘n feed products.  They have become harder to find, but Scott’s has a good dry product, Scott’s Turf Builder Weed ‘n Feed 3.  Fortunately, my lawn is tight on the weed control front, so I use a momentum-type, sustained release in pellet form.  Using a momentum-type product takes a lot of the guess-work out.

So now you are primed and ready to get your lawn off to a Spring-loaded start.  Remember … What you do in March and April has much to do with how your lawn will look in July and August!

And while I can’t guarantee you that all that work and exercise will make you look like this rather self-absorbed lawn fan, …

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…  I can assure you your lawn won’t look like his either!

 

Trump Is Wrong On Muslims … Kinda

Donald Trump made a rather bold and infuriating statement the other day. He also told the Truth … at least in part.  And what he said was what a lot of people wanted to hear.  Of course a lot of people didn’t want to hear it too.

Both groups were right.


Trump told us that Americans do not want and that America should block all Muslims from immigrating to the United States from Syria.

He was right and he was wrong.

As a country, we have grown past religious tests.  We are not perfect.  We have had them.  We have learned, sometimes the very, very hard way.  We have – collectively – moved on.

JFK was too Catholic for some people, who feared the Pope would be running the country.  Of course the earliest settlers came here to flee British religious oppression, only to set up their own style of religious repression here.  And there were flirtations with Nazi extremism in the late 1930’s, and then that very uncomfortable World War II prelude in the voyage of the St. Louis, loaded with Jews to be denied entry to the US though they could view the lights of Miami from on-deck.

But we’ve grown past all that. Or so we thought.

No, Donald … We do not exclude people from our country just for religious reasons. It’s the lowest form of exclusion, right next to race.

But you can’t really blame the approach to a problem that – in the wake of Paris and San Bernardino – has a lot of people avoiding crowded spaces, high-value locations, and mass public events.  The demographics drive you to the Conclusion … almost.

Personally, I don’t think you target all Muslims.  You can whittle down the high-risk pool by narrowing the focus to the true demographic … the demographic prized and targeted by the extremist political factions we worry about most … young, unattached to family, disenfranchised Muslims.

Trump is partially right, but importantly wrong.

Then there’s the other lessons from our History, that give you a look at how Presidents in the past have over-reacted when you have the luxury of 20-20 hindsight.

Jimmy Carter cancelled the visas of Iranian nationals who might visit the US during the Iranian hostage crisis.  But this was not a “national security measure” as much as it was a pressure point to force Iran to comply with demands to release the hostages.

And it wasn’t based on religion.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt – on the other hand – went a bridge-too-far in interning 120,000 Japanese nationals during World War II.  He indeed did this for National Security, but on purely racial terms, which is horrendous even if you can dismiss the fact that few Germans or Italians were similarly interned.

Were his actions contrary to American ideals?  Definitely.  Were they productive?  Hard to tell from the existence of a negative (the absence of wartime sabotage).

Were the actions reasonable, given the events of the time?  Certainly, they provided a sense of greater security at a dangerous time in what was seen as vulnerable areas.  Remember, Japanese forces invaded and created a tenuous foothold in Alaska’s Aleutian Islands.

Looking back, were the measures excessive?  Certainly … But you do have the Luxury of Hindsight!

Let’s look at the official release from the Trump campaign.

“Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on .”

Now I’m willing to bet dollars-to-doughnuts that not too many sources condemning the Trump issue provided those last 11 words.  And if you really think about it, it’s not far off the same reasoning FDR used.  Securing what was perceived as the riskiest elements of the country’s western population until they could figure out what was going on.

Frankly, given all we know the reaction makes perfect sense.  After all, there are no Uruguayan basketball players heading to America with the intent of shooting up the infidels.

But it goes too far.  It’s far to broad and is based purely on religious belief.  It reeks of prejudice and violates American ideals.

So let’s take the most reasonable, sensible, and fair approach.

Ban all young, unattached, disenfranchised Muslims until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on.

Horsham Vote 2015

New Year 2015 formed from sparking digits over black backgroundGreat day for an election! Clear blue sky, warm temps, a curious absence of Horsham Democrat “leaders”, perhaps they were developing their “clean water” initiatives …

Rumored to be a single page, half-sized pamphlet listing bullet points from the Horsham Sewer & Water Authority’s website. #satire

In any case this post’s intention is update the latest data on voting in Horsham Voting District 1-3.

As of 5:00 PM we stood at 200 voters, with roughly only 60 more voters needed to hit a turnout rate of 30%.

Use this data at your own risk!