Tag Archives: weather

Cranky Man’s Lawn Epistles ’12: Losing the battle, winning the war

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Once again the result of another Battlefield Summer Lawn was both predictable and unavoidable, if you are one of the common folk who struggle to maintain a healthy, vibrant lawn without the benefit of an in-ground irrigation system.

Honey, did you let the dog out?!?

In the last week you lost.  You lost BIG!  Your lawn looks like a short-cropped version of Africa’s Serengeti Plain during the dry season, missing the lions and lionesses lounging about your tinder-dry prairie, waiting for Fido to venture off the front porch.

But if you have been paying attention, you realize you may have lost Battle Summer, yet you could still win The Lawn War!

Question is, did you follow the Cranky Man Rules for Summer Lawn Survival?

  • Follow a regular fertilizing schedule to set your lawn up for success?
  • Cut the grass at higher mower setting once it gets hot?
  • Water your lawn whenever practical in cooler temps and every other day – as a minimum – once it got HOT?  (Yes, even when the grass turns brown.)
  • Refrain from fertilizing and lawn treatments when it’s hot and dry?  (e.g. Did you really need that anti-grub treatment?)

    Hippocrates preaching lawn care, circa 400 B.C.

In the words of Hippocrates … “Do no harm!  And make sure you water regularly!”  (Few appreciate Hippocrates’ legendary reputation for lawn care!)

Yes, watering your lawn even when it’s hot, brown, dry, and as hard as your driveway can make a difference!

The long-term health of your lawn lies in its root system.  Even when the grass looks dead, it’s really just dormant.  Dormant on top, but the roots still function and they NEED water to stay healthy and strong!

This is best demonstrated after a few days of cool, wet weather.  If your lawn is healthy, you should see immediate improvement in greenness and growth.  It will not come back completely green very quickly; but you should definitely notice a difference!

So even if your lawn looks like straw and smells like straw when you water it, you are helping your lawn survive another long, hot summer and setting the stage for a quick, easy lawn recovery once the dog days of summer are over.

Replica of Hippocrates Garden and Lawn Center on the island of Kos, Greece.

Cranky Man’s Lawn Epistles ’12 – Help your lawn beat the heat

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When it comes to my little 1/4 acre of turf, I have a few lawn care prejudices.  They are in descending order of irritation:

  • crabgrass
  • large dogs with inconsiderate owners
  • all other weeds
  • lawn mowing contractors
  • small dogs with inconsiderate owners

As you can see, I consider lawn mowing contractors roughly equivalent to “medium-sized dogs with inconsiderate owners”.  It’s not that I “hate” them per se; and I do not begrudge their need to earn a living or the demand for their services by home owners who simply don’t want to be bothered.  The truth is lawn mowing services rarely care about your lawn.  They cut your grass way too short – no matter how hot it is – in order to make it easier on themselves should rainy weather prevent them from making a weekly cutting. 

But I digress …

The point of this post is to provide some uneducated, experience-related tips on how to help your lawn survive the long, hot, dry summer and then thrive once cooler temps return. 

My front lawn absolutely BAKES during the summer.  An east-by-southeast exposure, and the absence of shade or an irrigation system, guarantees that by late August it looks more like a lawn in Afghanistan than it does one in southeast Pennsylvania.  My back yard is exactly the opposite … plenty of shade provided by the house and large neighboring trees.  It still gets dry; but it doesn’t sun-bake nearly as much as the front. 

Differing conditions should influence how much time and care you dedicate to your lawn’s summer survival.  I will water the front yard every other day during hot, dry weather; but I NEVER bother watering the back yard.

Common sense is the recurring theme in my suggestions for helping your lawn beat the heat and survive the summer:

  1. Make sure you fertilize regularly, especially in the spring and fall.
    • Search the Tag cloud or Categories on the menu bar for Lawn Care to read these posts.
  2. Don’t be afraid to let your lawn grow LONGER once it starts getting HOT. (This is where the aforementioned lawn-mowing contractors are so often no friend to your lawn!) 
    • A well-maintained lawn will look fuller and more lush when allowed to grow longer.
    • Longer grass will collect and retain more moisture, even just from morning dew.
    • Long grass also helps shade underlying soil, helps it retain moisture, and protects the plants’ roots.
  3. When it starts getting hot, water regularly those sections of your lawn that tend to dry out first and turn brown.
    • It’s never to late to water; but do not wait until the lawn is already starting to brown to start watering.
    • Pay attention to weather forecasts for anticipated rains and plan accordingly.
    • Water in the evening when moisture has longer to soak the soil and reach plant roots.
  4. Use common sense when it comes to fertilizing during heat waves and dry conditions.  Don’t fertilize a severely dry or burnt lawn.  You’re likely to do more harm than good.
    • This is generally an issue only with anti-grub applications, normally applied around the 4th of July.  In my opinion, you could do more harm than any lawn pest by applying a grub treatment when your lawn is water-starved.
  5. If worse comes to worse and the lawn turns to straw, watering can still help to keep the roots from drying out completely. 

The most important take-away here was best addressed by my Great Grandpappy* who used to say …

If you cut your lawn like a golf course fairway in May, it will look as lush an airport runway in July! *

(* OK, I never really knew my great-grandfather and barely remember one grandfather, but folksy wisdom always sounds more believable when attributed to someone older, wiser and near death.)

None of these suggestions will guarantee your lawn won’t turn brown.  If Mother Nature doesn’t cooperate with an occasional rain, only an irrigation system will keep your lawn green for any extended period of time during hot, dry weather.  So far this year, Mom Nature has been kind.  But like all women, that could change in the time it takes to narfle the garthok. 

My lawn does not have an irrigation system.  So I TRY to water every other day (which is a practical compromise between wanting to water every day and the cost of doing so).  But even when I am conscientious about watering, without help from Above, my front lawn will stay green only for so long.  There is NEVER a summer where patches – usually the same spots each year – don’t thin out, turn brown, and resemble more closely straw than grass.  These areas get early special attention in an attempt to mitigate the damage.

The MOST IMPORTANT result is that my lawn usually bounces back pretty quickly because – I like to think – I’m sensible about keeping it in as good a shape as I can BEFORE the long, hot, dry summer starts taking its toll!  The secret is to pay attention to your lawn’s condition BEFORE Mother Nature turns on the oven, and to anticipate what needs to be done to protect it!  

Good luck out there!

Hurricane Chronicles

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Monday, August 22 – Looks like we might get Hurricane Irene sometime this weekend.  I enjoy watching the “meteorologists” on TV trying to make sense of early storm computer projections.  But it’s kinda difficult to feel threatened by a storm that’s projected to track somewhere between Aruba and Idaho. 

Tuesday, August 23 – Wonderful!  An earthquake in central Virginia gets the whole mid-Atlantic region in an uproar.  My Left Coast family members snicker at the Chicken Little easterners.  Meanwhile, the “meteorologists” have integrated a new way of looking at the This-Thing-Could-Go-Anywhere computer models.  They are now described collectively as a “Cone of Uncertainty“!  I’ll say … Now Hurricane Irene could come ashore somewhere between Cape Canaveral, FL and Greenland! 

Wednesday, August 24 – Spent the whole morning listening to the office’s Earthquake Ernie going on and on and on about convergent plates, thrust faults, and liquefaction.  Note to self: Avoid engineers following dynamic earth events!

Hey, nice dress, Cecily Tynan!  Not so suddenly now, the Cone of We-Don’t-Have-a-Clue is much more concise.  East coast all the way!  Earthquakes, smurfquakes … All those Left Coasters would just slide into the Pacific if they had to endure one of these storms!  You can sense an impending Bread and Milk Panic.  When will they smarten up and start building cows and bread factories in snowless, earthquake-less, and hurricane-free locales?!?    

Thursday, August 25 – Geez, this thing is looking like a huge storm!  Better sit down and get my Storm Supply List organized … flashlights – Got ’em, batteries – ditto, adult beverages – check, animal crackers? Yes!, milk & bread???  OH MY GOD, WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MILK AND BREAD!!!!! 

Friday, August 26 – Drag myself into work after getting to bed at 2 am.  Spent four hours last night combing every store in a 10-mile radius for milk and bread.  All I could find was three packages of pita pockets and a half-gallon of goat’s milk!  But at least I know, we will survive!!  Then I spent the whole morning at work listening to Hurricane Harry going on and on and on about wind forces and water dynamics.  Note to self: Just avoid engineers!

Found out my sister, Joanne – who was working in D.C. when the trembler hit Tuesday – was supposed to head to North Carolina’s Outer Banks this weekend.  Asked her if she was going to Tripoli next week.  If you are, I have this engineer …

Get home; cut the grass (You prepare for a hurricane your way; I’ll do it mine!); clear the home environment of potential missiles; and – what the heck?!? – It’s already raining!!  Rush to the store for more pita milk and goats pockets.

Saturday. August 27 – Well, it’s here.  Spent most of Friday night squinting at CNN, The Weather Station, Action News, and Cecily’s dress trying to pick up every subtle shuck and jive of Irene’s eye from the doppler and radar images.  Why?  I haven’t a clue!  Concerns abound for sis’ family already bearing the heaviest brunt of the storm and friends living in low-lying areas near creeks and streams.       

Aside from that, Mother Nature is awesome.  The power and fury are both anxiety and wonder-inducing.  Spent part of the day painting closets in one of the bedrooms – a good day for that!  Decided to try to stay up all night to watch the storm.  Tornado warnings send my son, Brian into a frenzy of impending doom and a profusion of survival tips.  I make it to 4 am before heading to bed.  Seeing nothing other than wind and rain gets boring after a few hours.

Sunday, August 28 – All over here, save for occasional showers and fits of high winds.  No dramatic damage anywhere.  The worst effects are more insidious from accumulating water.  One of our windows leaked upstairs.  We were lucky.  Several neighbors were dealing with inches of water in basements; and the section of housing behind us was without power until Monday afternoon.  And even with that our area was much luckier than others.     

Until next time …

CML’s Idiot’s Guide for Lawns; Chapter 4 – Summer lawn survival

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I have few prejudices in life; but the ones I have are deeply rooted and attended to as lavishly as my lawn care obsession!  They are in rough order of magnitude:

  • crabgrass
  • large dogs with inconsiderate owners
  • all other weeds
  • lawn mowing contractors
  • small dogs with inconsiderate owners

As you can see, I consider lawn mowing contractors roughly equivalent to “medium-sized dogs with inconsiderate owners”.  It’s not that I “hate” them per se; and I do not begrudge their need to earn a living or the demand for their services by home owners who simply don’t want to be bothered.

The truth is lawn mowing services rarely care about your lawn.  They cut your grass way too short – no matter how hot it is – in order to make it easier on themselves should rainy weather prevent them from making a weekly cutting.  And they tend to be sloppy and inconsiderate.  Case-in-point was watching my neighbor’s contractor – on Memorial Day morning no less – doing a sloppy job of mowing their lawn.  Had I known how sloppy the mess left on my side of the lawn was, I would have confronted them at the time.  But if you like large clumps of long, dried out clippings all over your lawn, then you’re in good hands!

But I digress …

The point of this post is to provide some uneducated, experience-related tips on how to help your lawn survive the long, hot, dry summer and then thrive once cooler temps return. 

My front lawn absolutely BAKES during the summer.  An east-by-southeast exposure, and the absence of shade or an irrigation system, guarantees that by late August it looks more like a lawn in Afghanistan than it does one in southeast Pennsylvania.  My back yard is exactly the opposite … plenty of shade provided by the house and large neighboring trees.  It still gets dry; but it doesn’t sun-bake nearly as much as the front. 

Differing conditions should influence how much time and care you dedicate to your lawn’s summer survival.  I will water the front yard every other day during hot, dry weather; but NEVER bother watering the back yard.

Common sense is the recurring theme in my suggestions for helping your lawn beat the heat and survive the summer:

  1. Make sure you fertilize regularly, especially in the spring and fall.
    • Search the tag cloud on the menu bar for Lawn Care to read these posts
  2. Don’t be afraid to let your lawn grow LONGERonce it starts getting HOT. (This is where the aforementioned lawn-mowing contractors are so often no friend to your lawn!) 
    • A well-maintained lawn will look fuller and more lush when allowed to grow longer.
    • Longer grass will collect and retain more moisture, even just from morning dew.
    • Longer grass also helps shade underlying soil, helps it retain moisture, and protects the plants’ roots
  3. When it starts getting hot, water regularly those sections of your lawn that tend to dry out first and turn brown.
    • It’s never to late to water; but do not wait until the lawn is already starting to brown to start watering.
    • Pay attention to weather forecasts for anticipated rains and plan accordingly.
    • Water in the evening when moisture has longer to soak the soil and reach plant roots.
  4. Use common sense when it comes to fertilizing during heat waves and dry conditions.  Don’t fertilize a severely dry or burnt lawn.  You’re likely to do more harm than good.
    • This is generally an issue only with anti-grub applications, normally applied around the 4th of July.  In my opinion, you could do more harm than any lawn pest by applying a grub treatment when your lawn is water-starved.
  5. When worse comes to worse and the lawn turns to straw, watering can still help to keep the roots from completely drying out. 

None of these suggestions will guarantee your lawn won’t turn brown.  If Mother Nature doesn’t cooperate with an occasional rain, only an irrigation system will keep your lawn green for any extended period of time during hot, dry weather.  

My lawn does not have an irrigation system.  So I TRY to water every other day (which is a practical compromise between wanting to water every day and the cost of doing so).  But even when I am conscientious about watering, without help from Above, my front lawn will stay green only for so long.  There is NEVER a summer where patches – usually the same spots each year – don’t thin out, turn brown, and resemble more closely straw than grass.  These areas get early special attention in an attempt to mitigate the damage.

The MOST IMPORTANT result is that my lawn usually bounces back pretty quickly because – I like to think – I’m sensible about keeping it in as good a shape as I can BEFORE the long, hot, dry summer starts taking its toll!  The secret is to pay attention to your lawn’s condition when Mother Nature turns on the oven, and to anticipate what needs to be done to protect it!  

Good luck out there!

The Forecast Blues

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Tonight: Snow, followed by up to 1/2 inch of ice! … Changing to rain, then to a rainy, icy mix tomorrow night.

I can’t take much more of this.  Of course, it could always be worse.  The Mid-West can expect up to 2 feet of winter wonderfulness from the same storm.  So we’re not getiing the worst of it.

Where is global warming when you could really use it?!?

Die, Winter, die!!

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Wonderful … Had ice on top of snow Tuesday. We’ve had at least 3-4 annoyance level snows already, some before it was even officially Winter. And tomorrow we’re supposed to get 2-4 more inches.

So I’m ready to strangle Winter until it is lying limp and lifeless at the feet of Spring. As a result, I will no doubt have to spend the Autumn of my life in a hell much much hotter than any Summer. But at least I’ll be warm!