Operation Digitaria

UPDATE/MISSION DEBRIEF:  Friendly forces successfully applied anti-crabgrass treatment (preemergent) along the contested northern border and behind enemy lines to a distance of 3-4 feet.

Operation Digitaria commenced at 1745 EDT on May 10 with a diversionary mowing operation.  Followed immediately by a lightening-fast (Well, for me anyway.), stealth application of said preemergent.

Mission success was threatened by temporary loss of rotary spreader capability caused by ingestion of foreign material related to spousal unit failure to properly clean hand trowel used for recent cemetary plantings. (SURPRISE! … I tend to store small garden tools in the spreader housing when not in use.)  Corrective maintenance returned spreader to full mission capability.  Operation completed without losses to personnel or equipment.  Initial observations indicate bordering forces did not observe and remain unaware of interdiction operation.     


2 thoughts on “Operation Digitaria

  1. This report rivals recent reports of of gutsy trigger-pulling-executive-orders related to Special Ops across the globe. Did you get clearance from Pakistain ISI to avoid an international incident?

    Storing small tools in a rotary spreader will surely affect operation of the equipment, my kingdom for a horse, a horse for a shoe, a shoe for a nail…… etc. (famous British saying from somebody I cannot recall about how little things can mean alot if not done properly). No doubt if the Democrat who has weeds in his lawn was alert his interdiction of your trespassing would result in your bodily juices fertilizing his weeds for some time to come. I recommend that you also include camo face paint for future nocturanl ops.

    Please read below:

    Broadcast Spreader

    Also known as the rotary spreader, this is the most common type of spreader and comes in many sizes, ranging from small lawn spreaders to huge manure spreaders. For lawn spreaders, the rotary arm is turned as the wheels turn. A common problem with this spreader is that, in order to always have an even spread, the user must walk at exactly the same pace through the entire yard. Changing speed will not only affect the distance that the material is thrown, but also how heavily covered the area is (greater speed means greater spread but thinner coverage). Another common problem is that you have a limited control of the spread when it comes to the edge of your lawn, flower beds in the middle of the lawn, etc. The best way to solve this is to have an extra hand walking alongside you with a board to block seed from going past a certain point.

    For larger broadcast spreaders, such as manure, salt and sand spreaders, the spinning arm (known as an impeller) has its own motor and turns at a set speed. The biggest problems with these, especially those that attach to tractors and trucks, is that they sometimes fail to work due to connection issues. Double check all connections and make sure all wires are plugged in where they need to be (especially the ground wires), look for breaks, frays and corrosion.

    For all broadcast spinners, emptying and cleaning them out after each use is a important to keep them in good working order, no matter the size. DON’T STORE STUPID STUFF IN YOUR SPREADER ESPECIALLY IF YOU FANCY YOURSELF AS A CRANKY LAWN PROGNOSTICATOR!! It is best to do a dry cleaning, as moisture can cause certain materials to stick or clump and will lead to even larger problems. Also, lubricate any moving parts whenever necessary to keep parts from rusting.


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