Obviously, Global Warming has blown a tire these last two Winters, so I have decided it’s time to reverse this silly climate change process.
But don’t worry, my little snow bunnies, I’m onto the solution!
To wit, I am requesting bids to build a coal-fired electrical plant in my back yard. Said plant must be designed to raise the temps in my little swath of Snow-ylvania by at least an average of 10 degrees.
In addition, the facility must accommodate a herd of cattle (allegedly REAL co-culprits in Global Warming/cooling/changing due to their … uh … cow pies) as an extra measure of potential temp increase.
Finally, the coal-cow facility must also accommodate a fertilizer plant capable of producing massive amounts of nitrous oxide which can be released untreated into the atmosphere.
In ten years my Pennsylvania neighbors will be happily donning swimsuits and flip flops on New Years Eve!
No need to thank …