Was so, so close to having the garage finally cleared out from the renovations.
Plenty of room to move around. No more playing Sliding Block Puzzle just to find the tool box. Maybe even fit two cars in there for the snows expected tomorrow!
(Get your milk and bread! NOW!!)
And then it was finally time to get the father-in-law moved in.
Mike’s Scratch ‘n Dent
I hate my life.
But my wife had some comforting words, “Stop whining.”
She doesn’t understand me.
The Federalist‘s Ben Domenech wrote a great analysis of how Eric Snowden‘s revelations hurt the U.S. when he released information on U.S. international intelligence operations that really had no relation to the protection of American privacy. It only hurt U.S. intelligence efforts around the world.
And if you really think the U.S. shouldn’t be doing this at all, as if no other countries do whatever they can to figure out what the U.S. is up to or what our interests might be internationally, you are quite the naive one!
The other interesting development from President Obama’s speech yesterday was the decision (See second paragraph.) to allow his subordinates to determine and design a system for allowing access to U.S. phone records when needed for reasons of national security.
The president said he no longer wants the National Security Agency to maintain a database of such records. But he left the creation of a new system to subordinates and lawmakers, many of whom are divided on the need for reform.
Wait a second …
Isn’t this the same creative team with the same management and executive leadership that came up with the healthcare.gov website?!?
So how well will all of you be sleeping NOW with that little nugget of info???
Now I know what a Zombie Apocalypse
might look like …
I stand alone. It’s official.
At some point this week, my last hope that good parenting, a quality standard of living, and the example – so often set here – that a grounded political philosophy can hold up to any intellectual challenge was smothered in the simple act of renewing a Pennsylvania driver’s license.
My youngest son changed his voter registration to Democrat. And he is the smart one!
Was the smart one …
How did he express his change of affiliation when asked? “I changed my mind.”
He made it sound like he was changing his socks.
Maybe it’s a statement on my Leadership. Maybe I didn’t politically proselytize enough when the boys were so impressionable the correct politic would have been permanently ingrained, like their Philly accents. Maybe I made one too many mistakes as a parent.
Oh well …
So now I am surrounded. But that’s OK. I can take solace in the following.
In the end, I will continue to stand as the Lion at the Gate. Politely accepting the political materials dropped off at the house by my Democrat opposition during elections cycles and quietly sorting the mail. Not sure why those materials never seem to arrive with their intended receivers.
I guess all’s fair in Love and Poltics!
Of course I told the house’s latest Democrat that he will always be welcomed back into the real Party of Progress … once he regains his senses!
But for now, I am the lone Grand Old Party stalwart beating back the political zombies seeking to weaken the ramparts, while keeping the inmates calm and reassuring them that they can have their political say the second Tuesday of every November!
Me and Harper Jeanine
Last week was a week to end all weeks!
OK … Maybe that’s a bit of a stretch. But for Carol and I, it was definitely a week of incredible joy sandwiched by high-levels of anxiety and a touch of aggravation with an extremely cold coating of Winter.
The almost Head Injury
The Aggravation portion of the week started last Friday when I noticed a 7 degree difference between the house heater’s thermostat setting and inside temperature. After ten minutes of playing with the thermostat while listening for the reassuring sound of the heater kicking on (a well-known method of heater evaluation), my wife offered some of her folksy wisdom.
“The heater’s not going to come on just because you’re staring at it.”
I couldn’t argue with her.
Fortunately the heater eventually came on by itself, but it was a portent of things to come. And on Sunday morning I woke to a cold house and no heat from a unit just a year-and-a-half old (Lennox).
Sunday was a miserable day with rain freezing on the ground. Not that I appreciated that as I frantically called my very responsive HVAC guy.
Dan described the potential pitfalls of ice damming up outlet vents and warned of the nasty, icy weather outside. The first thing he wanted me to do was check the opening on the outlet vent for over-icing.
Of course I was half listening (Carol would be shocked …) as I wiggled into boots to contend with the snow piled up around the side of the house where the vent was located.
So I stepped out of the house, crossed the porch; stepped casually onto the first step … And promptly landed right on my gluteus maximus after a failed Flying Salchow with a Twist. Nothing hurt but my pride and my wet, cold butt. The scary part was feeling the back of my head lightly thumping the cement porch, inches from a serious head injury.
The solution to getting heat into our home this day ended up being the skillful hammering – That’s right, hammering – on a half dollar-sized piece of indubitably foreign-manufactured plastic that forms a pressure switch.
As I triumphantly declared “Heat on!”, Dan the heater guy, promptly offered me all his weekend emergency service calls!
Harper Jeanine (Needless to say, the highlight of the week/month/year!)
Princess Harper
Sunday night the alarms went off. A simple call from the northern edge of the Shortall family, a small town near Williamsport, set in motion a whirlwind of grand parenting speculation and frantic decision-making.
Mom’s water had broken and the Launch Clock was running!
We opted to wait until first thing Monday morning to leave for the Home of the Little League World Series hospital because the weather up north consisted mainly of freezing rain. And of course, shortly before we were to leave on our three-hour race to the north, we got the call that we were Grandparents!
Harper Jeanine … 7 pounds, 12 ounces of incredible unbaby-ugly cuteness was born at 0719 hours at Williamsport Hospital!!
And with hitting official Grand Pop status, I aged a decade – mentally – in an instant.
But without a trace of subjective Proud GrandPop blathering, I can assure you that she is in fact the Most Beautiful Baby of 2014!
She has all her fingers and toes. (I checked several times.) She smells of new-baby-scented perfection. (I checked several times.) And Harper Jeanine looks a lot like me. (That I checked a few more than several times.)
There is no doubt she is the product of a perfectly developed and extremely attractive gene pool, of which of course I consider myself Lead Specimen. And no, I am not saddled with an overactive self-perception!
Heat? Who needs heat?!?
After a joyous day of baby coddling and embarrassing goo-goo talk, Father Winter decided to ratchet up my desire to retire to Arizona with two days of the coldest weather many will remember ever experiencing. The Wind-chill in Williamsport on Tuesday began at -6 and wormed to a toasty +10 by mid-afternoon.
Since I was tasked with welfare checks on our new tenant, my father-in-law, who declined to make the trip with us, I made several “What’s up?” calls home. When I asked my FIL how everything was on Tuesday morning, he told me the house was cold.
uh oh …
“How cold?”, I asked, “What’s the thermostat reading?”
He laughed, and told me without a hint of concern, “53”.
uh oh …
Now fortunately, I have a very good neighbor, an ex-Marine who loves a good crisis. He’s a dependable, no-nonsense, get-it-done type. We help each other out whenever we can. Everything good neighbors are supposed to do.
What I felt like going out to my car Tuesday morning
And he’s good friends with my former Marine HVAC guy! So, with a minimum of frantic scrambling, more pressure switch pounding, and frequent house checks by the Marines, we were able to avoid Frozen Pop-Pop Syndrome.
Getting the cheap foreign-made replacement part was another problem altogether, complicated by the horrendous weather, or so the parts supply source kept telling us.
So for two days I spent a bit of time making phone calls and requesting neighborly Wellness Checks. And I harassed my helpless HVAC guy who eventually had to beg the required part from his Lennox tech rep.
This Winter is stacking up to be a real (select your favorite Adjective of Disbelief here). But Harper Jeanine is here, and everything will end up just fine!
OK, since you insist …
What could be better?!?
U.S. REP Sheila Jackson Lee (TX-18)
OK, OK … I know a lot of people are having a really hard time digesting U.S. Representative Sheila Jackson Lee‘s suggestion that the benefits many of the poor accumulate under “Welfare” should be re-branded to as “Transitional Living Funds“.
Now, putting aside the fact that few people – other than Liberals – would be tricked by simply renaming a Government give-away to some other seemingly innocuous term, I think Representative Lee is actually onto something!
The key to my intrigue is that very first word.
Of the three primary definitions of the word TRANSITION in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, let’s look at the most commonly used. (The third deals with “musical modulation”.)
TRANSITION: 1. a : passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another : change; b : a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another … 2. an abrupt change in energy state or level (as of an atomic nucleus or a molecule) usually accompanied by loss or gain of a single quantum of energy … TRANSITION
I think she’s on to something!
Transitional Living Fund would suddenly become exactly what they were intended to be for most healthy individuals not strapped with insurmountable life problems … a means for surviving extremely difficult times in life, where one stares into the bleak abyss of abject poverty through no fault of their own.
Those individuals by definition could now be expected – under this new definition of welfare – to change, to seek ways to improve their lot in life, and maybe – EGADS! – be held to a minimal level of Personal Responsibility!
They might be asked to do what any reasonable person would be expected to do when faced with severe life challenges. They would be given a LIMITED period of time – Let’s say a year. – to TRANSITION themselves towards a better way of life; a plan for their future and their families future success; a job.
After that Transitional Period they would be expected to pass onto a more stringent period of Personal Progress. Maybe they could still receive some of all of their TLF benefits PROVIDED that they continue to follow a program intended to find them a suitable job and their TLF benefits would be offset by whatever wages they are able to earn.
Think about it … Personal Improvement, a way out of the morass of poverty and helplessness. Heck, it even sounds like Progressiveness! And what Liberal doesn’t embrace that term?!?
Nah … It’ll never happen!
But a big “Thank You!” to REP Sheila Jackson Lee for trying!
CML News, an affiliate of Cranky Man’s Lawn, is working on a story certain to shatter Governor Chris Christie‘s George Washington Bridge vendetta controversy.
Confidential sources indicate that not only did officials in Christie administration order the closing of bridge lanes to punish Fort Lee Mayor Mark Sokolich for his non-support of Christie’s gubernatorial bid, they directed the use of pallets of Velveeta Cheese to accomplish their dastardly deed!
Their wanton bid for political retribution not only inconvenienced scores of commuters, it has created a severe Velveeta Cheese shortage just in time for New Jersey’s first Superbowl!
Rumors that the 85 pallets of Velveeta came directly from Christie’s personal stash appear to be unfounded however.
PA State Rep Mike Vereb
On a cold night in early December the Montgomery County (PA) Republican Committee took another big step towards dumping a decade of internal discord by the side of the road. The rifts that seemed insurmountable only a few months ago, have been bridged and will finally begin to fade from memory. The Party can push on to a brighter future.
And no peeking backwards is allowed …
As new Co-Chair of the MCRC Finance Committee, Bob Asher stated during October’s MCRC love fest, ” … we can’t have any more rearview mirrors on the bus.” Asher, along with his Co-Chair compadre, Vahan Gureghian will form a solid backbone for future Republican success in Montgomery County.
The struggles that have faced the Montgomery County GOP in recent years have been expensive, costing opportunities for leadership of County Government; control of County Row Offices; and a growing disadvantage to Democrat registration numbers. In addition, the infighting has cost the County GOP dearly in unity and focus.
Then suddenly the skies cleared; the feud was over!
In the days leading up to the annual MCRC dinner in October, that would feature an appearance by Governor Tom Corbett, the leaders of the Montgomery County Republican Committee put differences aside to form a much stronger alliance, and created a powerful mechanism for promoting Republican ideals that have made Montgomery County among the choicest counties in which to live.
Finance Co-Chairs Vahan Gureghian and Bob Asher with Governor Corbett
Then out of the blue MCRC Chairman Robert Kerns submitted his sudden resignation leaving the County GOP leaderless at a crucial time, a crisis that threatened to undo all the progress the Party had recently made.
And into the breach stepped Pennsylvania State Representative Mike Vereb!
Vereb has served in the Pennsylvania House of Representatives since 2007, and has run successfully for re-election in 2008, ’10 and ’12. Previous to his successful run for the PA State House, he worked in the West Conshohocken Police Department and served as President of the West Norriton (PA) Board of Commissioners.
Now, I haven’t been much of a regular attendee at the Montgomery County Republican Committee events despite my membership as a Horsham Republican committeeman. High-powered politics is not my forté. I prefer to observe, comment (Hence the blog!) and support in whatever way I can those whose values and policies I agree with.
Those who stumble from time-to-time on this tiny slice of the internet super-megatropolis may be familiar with some of my more pointed rants and ravings when it comes to issues like wayward Liberal logic or deception, poor leadership, and – more recently – the dangerous tendency by my political party when it comes to marginalizing its moderate wing of thought.
If it comes to this, so be it!
That last point is one that’s been weighing on my mind for quite some time. For me, the issue illustrates just how willing the GOP is – on both regional and national levels – to take seriously the depth and breadth of viewpoints existing within those who labor for the ideals the Party represents.
It has been a discouraging to hear constantly that only Big C Conservatives speak truly to the important issues of the day. That, if you do not share their vision, you are not pure somehow as a Republican. That only those who hold tight to the hard Right vision are worthy of expressing their views.
Worse from my point-of-view, it’s really very, very bad politics, particularly in a region where so many Moderates live, work and raise families. And when it comes to Electoral Math, it certainly does not improve the chances of success Nationally.
It was with this mindset I resisted the idea of attending Mr. Vereb’s unchallenged rise to the MCRC Chairmanship. That was until he made a somewhat personal appeal that I attend such an important event. (OK … It was simply a personal Facebook plea, but nonetheless …)
So on a chilly night in early December I schlepped out to the Westover Country Club to see what would happen for myself. I wanted to HEAR the message that would come from the prospective Chairman.
I was quite pleasantly surprised!
Chairman Vereb recognized that the Party had become complacent, living off past victories, and not consistently or effectively communicating its message. It’s a message that should ring loudly for many, including our Democrat neighbors, who have chosen Montgomery County as the place to live for its good schools, safe communities and low taxes.
The message to be stressed is that these things do not occur by accident. That such development was the result of excellent leadership, sound policies, and effective management. That throughout the County these successes resulted from decades of Republican stewardship.
The strategy worked quite well for Horsham Republicans on Election Day 2013.
The message should be a tone-setter for all efforts to promote Republican leadership, the foundation for MCRC efforts to win elections in those areas where the Party’s leadership has a demonstrated record of Success.
At this point of Vereb’s speech, I still wasn’t really totally listening. It was what Mike said next grabbed me and convinced me the County GOP is headed towards much, much better days!
” … the best interests of our party must always come before personal agendas. … we must be inclusive and welcoming not only of different ideas about how to effectively promote our party and its candidates, but as to what the practical policy goals of our party must be.”
Music to my ears … But the best what yet to come.
“No political party ever expanded its base by requiring unquestioned adherence to a single ideology or perspective. … We are residents of a diverse county in one of the most diverse states in our nation …”
A lesson with which those at the highest reaches of the Grand Old Party will someday have to come to grips. To win elections – and with that the opportunity to lead, to shape, to find success – the Republican Party has to maximize its philosophical reach to those of moderate economic and social viewpoints.
“Demanding uniformity from our fellow Republicans will only invite electoral losses and policy disasters. However, by accepting reasonable differences of opinion we will be better positioned to achieve our overall goal of electing Republicans who will make sure government operates efficiently, effectively and is responsive to the interests of hard-working taxpayers.”
Now, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure whether Vereb was speaking of outside political fortunes or the exorcism of past Committee sectarian conflict, but I chose to interpret his message on the broader political stage.
The simple fact is that Republicans can not be politically successful in the four suburban counties surrounding Philadelphia without embracing some moderate social and economic views. So the MCRC must find a way to accommodate such thinking in concert with traditional Big C Conservative ideals.
A challenging task? Certainly … But Mike Vereb’s take on diversity, inclusiveness, and Republicans of all stripe working together to extol the civil virtues of Republican leadership to voting taxpayers, who enjoy living in Montgomery County, sure sounds like a recipe for Success!
Harper Jeanine Shortall was born this morning at 0719 hours in Williamsport, PA!!
Harper is our first grandchild. Will have more to share at a later date.
The WordPress.com stats monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for Cranky Man’s Lawn. Take a glimpse at what happened here in the past year!
Here’s an excerpt:
A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 7,700 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 6 trips to carry that many people.
A Cautionary Tale from Christmas 2012 …
Merry Christmas!
“So, how do you guys make sure … ?”
Those words were a precursor to a Christmas experience I had yet to have the “pleasure” of enjoying. And as soon as I finished the rest of that sentence, I had one of those little voice-in-the-back-of-the-head premonitions of impending Yuletide Aggravation.
We were Christmas tree shopping two weekends before the holiday. And we had found a suitable tree …
A suitable tree is a) alive, b) reasonably full and bushy, and c) fixable in places where it’s not reasonably full and bushy.
After looking at the first 45 trees, I usually remind my spousal unit that the tree doesn’t have to be “perfect”, which always gets me that “Thank you, Captain Obvious!” tilted-head glare.
As is the customary belief of REAL Christmas tree (i.e. green and alive) aficionados, Artificial Trees are reserved for the soul-less, Just-Add-Water Christmas types, and Communists.
Fidel Castro extolling the perfect alignment of artificial Communist Christmas trees.
… and so we arrange for a tree-rustler to grab our prized evergreen and head off to The Prep Area, where the tree trunk gets a fresh cut and – in our case – a hole drilled up the middle of the trunk to accommodate our center-post tree stand.
For years and years we used the traditional four-point screw clamp tree stands and never seemed to have a problem. Then twice in three years we had trees topple over for no apparent reason; one time as we were walking out the door to attend Christmas Eve Mass.
And so ever since we have relied upon our Center Post tree stand.
And this is where Christmas 2012 took its unanticipated cruise through uncharted waters.
The Mistake I made was to ignore the visual warning signs, despite the “uh oh” feeling I experienced after the following conversation, which resulted from my evaluation of the tree-drilling set-up.
“Hey, I’m just curious, but I notice you guys don’t have the self-check fixture on the top of the drill rig.”, as had been used at other tree establishments in years past.
“Yeah, the grounds not very level here, so we can’t use the fixture or the trees will come out drilled crookedly.”, the tree rustler offered.
“So, how do you guys make sure you drill the tree straight?”, I asked.
“Oh well, I’ll hold the tree in place as straight as I can; and The Driller checks the alignment from three directions to make sure we get it straight.”
uh huh …
Actually, there were two mistakes made here.
The first was to turn our annual Christmas tree hunt into an “adventure”, where we tour 4-5 road-side tree lots before we head back to our known – and reliable – Christmas tree merchant because nothing we see – as Carol demands – jumps out and screams, “MERRY CHRISTMAS!!” … accompanied obviously by Schroeder, Lucy and the rest of the Charlie Brown gang singing Christmas Time is Here.
The second mistake was not bailing out as soon as I saw the tree-drilling set up or after hearing the explanation thereof. It just didn’t occur to me that if the drill rig was not level, even if the tree was visually “straight”, the “crooked” drill rig would …
Well … you can guess what happened next.
Get the tree home, but wait until the next day – December 16 – to pop the tree into the center post tree stand. At first I didn’t notice the Leaning Tree of Holiday Anguish. I usually allow the tree to stand in the warm house so it falls out from its tightly wrapped handling and transportation configuration.
The next morning, I come down stairs on my way to work and check to see how the tree is falling out.
Oh no … You have got to be kidding me! Crooked?!? The damn thing is CROOKED!?!
At first I thought maybe the tree’s trunk is twisted. So I turned the tree on its stand looking for both The Good Side of the evergreen and an angle where it didn’t look like a drunk leaning against a lamp post. But no matter which way it was turned it looked somehow even worse!
2012 Tannenbaum II
So this Christmas season offered me the one holiday experience I had yet to encounter … The Return of a Christmas Tree. After 50-plus years of Yuletide experience, you tend to believe you have seen it all.
Silly Santa …
Now some might say we were callous to reject an imperfect specimen. Yes, it wasn’t the tree’s fault. It was the boobs on the business end of a lopsided drill rig.
The tree vendors were nice enough about it. They offered me another tree or a refund. I made a cursory glance around for a replacement. Although I have to admit, I didn’t WANT to find another one, which would be subject to the same off-kilter drilling process.
The tree purveyors offered a smile with my refund; and I trudged on back to the same old place we usually go, where the trees are on display with trunks pre-drilled so there’s no guesswork involved. We ended up buying Tannenbaum II at our usual place and enjoyed a visually perfect Christmas!
The moral of the story is … “Familiarity breeds content.”
Also … “If it sounds too stupid to be done correctly, listen to that little voice in the back of your head.”
Cranky Man's Lawn 