As this unprecedented health event continues to progress with its uncertainty, stressors, and a drastic curtailing of normal life, I dedicate My Corona – Day 9 to a nameless fellow coworker. Let’s call him Bob.
Bob – on one of our last days in the office – attempted to poke fun at my role as office DJ by asking me why I wasn’t playing the song “My Corona”. I told him – somewhat indignantly – that the song was The Knack‘s “My Sharona“. Little did I know until I checked that there actually was a parody song called “My Corona”.
I took the liberty of previewing it. And my recommendation is to skip it; but I link it here just in case you are not already depressed enough being sequestered like a petulant 3-year-old in “timeout”. Remember you were warned.
The following version is a bit better … as in a bit better than being stuck in your house with eight of your offspring all under the age of 6.
But this extremely short video is by far the best so far …
My obvious point here is that with all the stress, uncertainty, hyper media coverage, doom and gloom predictions, etc., etc. … it will be our ability to maintain perspective; use common sense; and maybe laugh a little at our human frailty are our best attributes that might just help in getting through all this.
Keep safe. Be smart. Enjoy the time with those most important to you … despite how “scary” that might be.
Yesterday – Day 5 – was my second consecutive day of teleworking from home. A small personal first which included a conference call that set forth NAVSUP Weapon Systems Support official response to the corona virus crisis.
For the foreseeable future, I will be tethered to the military-industrial complex via the Ethernet from home. NAVSUP WSS Command initiated its Continuance Of Operation Plans, appropriately named as its acronym describes the status of home-bound hostages, as in “I’m freakin’ COOPed up in this freakin’ house”!
The immediate essentials are the prohibition of employees in the work spaces unless absolutely essential; the continuance of systems and interactions that support US Navy and Marine Corp operations; and the collection of data on things like systems availability and the quality of networking connections. The latter data requirement the product of this event as the first implementation of the COOP.
As one, who never worked a regular telework schedule as a personal preference, this is a big adjustment. As mentioned yesterday, this will also be a challenge for Carol as well!
As is my habit, when I leave for work (in this case the basement) I gave her a kiss as I left our bedroom. A bit sleepy and confused she asked, “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to work”, I said.
“You’re a weirdo …” was her loving response!
Love is a many splendored thing!
I leave you today with this observation plagiarized and paraphrased as follows:
“If we go through all of this bullshit (paraphrased part),
It’s been awhile with some very, very long stretches in between. My reasons for – in all practical purposes – abandoning the art of blogging are as varied as the random directions my brain-streamings often led me. The biggest reason, however, is the nagging suspicion that I was – for the most part – talking to myself.
Nothing has really changed … aside from that huge Blanket of Uncertainty now hanging over us and the realization that the Human form is damn fragile!
But it does give me something to write about, even if I’m the only one reading it.
Day 4 is my personal accounting from the first day, Friday – the 13th day of March, when the Most Powerful Navy in the World – semi-officially – told me and those I work with to “Stay the hell home!” (my wording, not theirs)
So here I sit, fretting not so much about the virus, but more so how I might survive another “pre-retirement practice drill” with my loving, private-time-loving spousal unit. As I’m pretty sure, if this lasts more than a few weeks, death by COVID-19 might be the LEAST of my worries!
I am was a corona virus skeptic. Not skeptical that the virus is real, dangerous, potent, and deadly … I have read enough about pandemics and live with a very experienced registered nurse to know better. More skeptical about the way its presence has been made the focus of hyper-caffeinated media hysteria, the ridiculous conspiracy theories about origins and transmissions, and the public panic which ensued.
I have no doubt this is serious or that The Authorities know more they are not sharing to be taking such drastic public measures. But that will be the last I say about it. My posts here will be more about coping with what is simply – at least for now – a personal inconvenience and intrusion.
There are sights throughout the World one simply must see; and I have many, many more I have yet to experience. This past week we had the opportunity to view one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World, Arizona’s Grand Canyon!
Our trip, the offshoot from a cross-country family wedding, included stops along scenic Route 66, Tombstone and the OK Corral, and the wild street donkeys of Oatman. These kitschy, curious cultural attractions take a far back seat to the visual wonder of the canyon.
One could be led to believe they can appreciate the awe-inspiring vistas through the magic of modern photography or high-definition documentaries. But the true depth and breadth of beauty and wonder can only be truly appreciated by standing on … uh, near … the rim of the gorge.
Our stay did not allow a trip down into the canyon, which was regrettable as undoubtably an equally incredulous perspective that must be. And from what we learned, they likely wouldn’t have allowed me to overburden some unfortunate burro.
And by the way, it was unseasonably freezing cold for late October, with sunrise mornings reaching lows of 9-18 degrees Fahrenheit. Of course the following week, temps in the mid-60s were expected. Best check the temps and wind forecasts if flexibility allows.
As a first-time visitor, the most impressive aspect is the sheer depths of the canyon, followed closely by the beautiful colors of the canyon walls and the desire to understand how such a desolate, arid – alien planet-like – wonder was created. It makes one feel small, remote and easily overwhelmed.
From a spiritual point-of-view, I was led to wonder what purpose such magnificence might be intended to serve. And yes, I realize as one who is not particularly religious, some may find such thoughts as Purpose to a natural wonder might sound silly or pretentious. And yet, I wonder …
I sometimes hear the expression “the finger of God” often used to express the power and often the devastation of naturally occurring phenomena. To me, my experience on my first view of the Grand Canyon was that of the Fingers of God, creating and shaping a spectacle of nature intended to demonstrate His power and majesty. Reminding Man that he is temporary and peripheral. One who should be mindful of his place and respectful of what was placed here for his benefit and for the benefit of those who follow.
So I leave you with this thought.
No matter whether your higher entity is God in all His glory … or nature or earth or even if science alone defines “purpose” for you, it’s extremely difficult to witness such grandeur without the thought that it exists … was placed here … made available for humanity to witness for some exalted purpose.
Regardless of your views on any of that, the Grand Canyon is an awe-inspiring experience for which we all must take the opportunity!
For those new to Cranky Man’s Lawn, I embarked on a months-long journey years ago to shed a few a bunch a significant number of El Bees awhile back. I used a weight and health app known as “Lose It!” And was quite successful.
I dropped over 35 pounds, but bad habits and habitual lazi-ass-ness resulted in the reincarnation of those lost El Bees. Not all of them but a significant portion …
Now a surprising 6 years later, I am climbing back on that horse. No heavy equipment needed.
This time around I am not skimping by just using the free features of “Lose It!”. I will – am – paying for the premium plan, which offers a bunch of benefits including the ability to monitor hydration, sleep, health measures, etc.!
Let’s see how this goes ….
Beginning weight: 241.1 lbs.
Target weight: 215 lbs.
Plan: Lose two pounds a week
Daily Calorie Budget: 1730 per day
Projected Goal Achievement: December 1, 2019
Weight today: 237.6 lbs. (down 3.5 lbs.)
Lost so far: Mountain Brushtail Possum (Adult 3-4 lbs.)
One of the more fascinating aspects of my employment within the largest military organization on Earth is the occasional opportunity to peak behind the scenes at the infrastructure that maintains the US Navy and Marine Corp capabilities. Due to a recent assignment to attend a training event held at the Navy’s Coronado, California, I had the chance to learn about a limited facet of Fleet support … The aircraft repair and refurbishment facilities at Fleet Readiness Center (FRC) Southwest (commonly referred to as FRC San Diego or North Island).
Note: Nothing discussed here would be considered clearance-required information. The only access granted was perhaps a step above common base access permitted for normal, non-clearance business operations. No photographs were allowed or taken.
Our visit was arranged by my supervisors (NAVSUP Weapon Systems Support) through comparable supervision at the FRC for six visitors, including myself. Our focus was the maintenance of aircraft repairable assemblies, although our organization also deals heavily with shipboard systems.
As we drove to our pre-tour meet ‘n greet, we caught glimpses of the work going on. The most interesting was a hanger area full of older version F/A-18s going through tear downs we learned would lead to de-militarization of the aircraft and disposal through approved de-mil processes. One aircraft – which I think I saw – was a fanciful aircraft in unique painting purportedly used in the remake of Top Gun (i.e. Top Gun 2), serving as Maverick’s (Tom Cruise) ride!
Pretty sure I saw a glimpse of this aircraft in a teardown hanger.
Since the DoD frowns on old components finding their way onto Amazon and e-Bay. Most components are scrapped following the harvest of any special metals used in their original manufacture.
What strikes even the most experienced civilian desk jockey is the lengths in maintenance management, repair and refurbishment, quality artisanship, and exacting process the military services expend in maximizing the service longevity of its aircraft fleet! No small order when one gets the opportunity to see it first hand and dwells on the infinite amount of detail required to make those exacting processes flow.
Of course with operations so involved, so broad in scope, conducted both CONUS (contiguous U.S.) and OCONUS (outside CONUS), across large complex military facilities, not everything is perfect. Flaws develop in handling and processes; material get waylaid, mismanaged, lost; and facilities become disorganized and unimaginably cluttered.
But again, the Services (in my experience The Navy) have adapted to become more reactive and corrective in ensuring the most efficient and effective industrial facilities are available to support the War Fighter. FRC Southwest, for example, recently endured a reorganization and reinvention of its industrial facilities after an audit by a private consultant found much lacking in the efficacy of its operations.
I had been to several commercial defense facilities in my Navy aircraft support experience (e.g. McDonnell-Douglas, Sikorsky). But I had never seen a facility as clean, well-defined, exacting, and organized as the repair and refurbishment operations at FRC Southwest! Even the floors were clean enough to eat off.
Not that I would recommend that …
My own duties at NAVSUP WSS involve Contracting Officer Representative (COR) duties for a program elegantly titled Technical Assistance for Repairable Processing (TARP). This program manages the flow of retrograde material (i.e. used repairables which can be refurbished to like-new condition) from ships and aircraft units scattered all over the globe. These items can be as small as circuit cards to helicopter rotor heads and aircraft engines shipped to and fro in immense protective cans (many designed in part or in whole by coworkers, who labor only feet from my desk).
The point in all of this is to stress the Herculean effort the Services – at least The Navy – undertake to manage – as best as is possible – the service life and availability of crucial components needed by the War Fighter to conduct operations in an increasingly complex, technological world.
Meanwhile, back at FRC Southwest, we viewed F/A-18 wing panels awaiting either refurbishment and reassembly or demilitarization scattered about a huge warehouse/hanger bay in varying states of disrepair and dressing. In an enormous industrial space, you could see a spotless areas dedicated to various intake, evaluation, repair, and testing of components from Navy fighters, helicopters, aircraft and even ship engines all benefitting from a collection of artisans, trained and developed in exacting capabilities.
On a drive and park tour, we also viewed covered, open-sided building were four H-53 type helicopters were shown in the varying stages of refurbishment. From right to left, you could see one aircraft in the evaluation stage, then one in electronic and component removal, a third in complete strip-down/rebuild, and the fourth in completed/testing awaiting its first test flight before being released back into the fleet. From right to left, you saw old and fatigued evolving to almost new, ready-to-go condition. It was quite the impressive migration as each aircraft would be moved down the line to eventual service life extension.
All this benefits not just the War Fighter, but also the Taxpayer, who – in the end – receives more bang for the tax dollar in terms of the original investment in major military equipment!
The Fleet Readiness Centers in concert with a well-integrated supply and distribution network perform what many a civilian taxpayer would consider practical miracles in the capabilities demonstrated in maximizing the service life, performance, and availability of American military equipment. The sad truth is not many of my fellow civilian Navy employees get the opportunity to witness and thereby appreciate the fruit of their individual labors where the proverbial rubber meets the road!
As an NAVSUP employee with over 39 years of experience, even I am immensely impressed by the quality of the Navy’s industrial capability. And I have not seen more than a tiny sliver of total Navy effort. It is – quite frankly – an experience that every single NAVSUP employee who directly or indirectly affects the Navy’s repairable management, procurement, and support operations should be required to enjoy!
For two weeks this August we had the opportunity to enjoy another combined work/family excursion to sunny Southern California. And as I am won’t to do, I wander off with my more golf-talented brother to indulge our mutual hobby of choice.
So we found ourselves on a gorgeous Tuesday morning preparing to explore the oceanside beauty that is Trump National Golf Club, Los Angeles! It’s a golf course we had lusted over even though brother Pat had played there once before.
As a warmup, we had played Steele Canyon Golf Club in Jamul, CA. A solid 27-hole track that cost $125, making a $195 investment for a circuit at a Trump golf property, overlooking the Pacific Ocean a no-brained!
For me, a consistently semi-talented golf hack, the Trump LA track was more than a little intimidating. We had the chance to view Trump LA a year or so previously while in SoCal for a family wedding event. The picturesque ocean-front scenery is dotted a bit too generously with deep, gaping, fluffily white sand traps. The greens billiard-smooth … if you like your billiards played on elephant graveyards where the pachyderms are buried just barely below the surface.
Yeah … only regular golfers will understand that last reference.
Yet the actual play was much less threatening than the visual would suggest. Like any golf course demands you must – as the pro shops resident Captain Obvious pointed out – “Hit the ball straight” as consistently as is possible. Certainly trouble lurks on almost every hole, but it’s easily avoided with a modicum of talent. True life golf hacks are in for a rude and rough ride!
Now permit me a bit of what my bro would call “golf heresy”.
On previous visits to California (Always good to strategically position a close relative on the Left Coast!), we have played Pebble Beach, Spyglass Hill, local muni tracks in the Long Beach area, and another whose name escapes me in the wine country of Temecula. And frankly, I more thoroughly enjoyed – from an entertainment, relaxation, and playability point-of-view – The Trump experience more so than Pebble!
Perhaps my opinion is jaded by a struggling round years ago at Pebble, or what I like to call the Disneyland of golf. Difficult holes with tough carries and greens so tough to read, you might rather take up bowling. Frankly, I even like Spyglass Hill much more than Pebble Beach!
My biggest problem playing Trump LA was keeping my mind on golf and off the incredible scenery. And yes, that’s impossible. The crystal blue waters … the homes on the cliffs overlooking the course and the Pacific … the natural flora and fauna … the beauty of the well-manicured grounds …
Yes, it was a struggle of monumental proportions, but what’s not to like? And let’s not forget, one also gets to play on a property bought, redesigned, and improved upon by one of the best American Presidents to grace The White House in decades!!
We are trapped in a “Twilight Zone” of deliberate ineptitude when we are prevented from resolving very fixable problems for reasons having nothing to do with protecting the sanctity and our confidence in reliable institutions such as voting!
Voter fraud does not need to be “rampant” to be a problem requiring correction. We don’t allow occasional financial fraud or identity theft to go unpunished or uncorrected, especially if there are systemic flaws. What’s the difference here?
Does anyone truly believe an example such as the proven and recent occurrence of Dead People voting in Philadelphia cannot or should not be addressed in a systemic way that would make such instances much less – even if not entirely – likely to happen in the future?
Prove to me that such reluctance is not simply an overreaction to Political Objectives callously anchored in false racial sensibilities!
An unexpected interaction during my semi-regular gym program yielded the kind of feedback that drives you to keep torturing yourself.
Well almost …
After a brisk cardio workout and innumerable pushups (I forgot to count.) in sweaty heat-induced stuffiness, I head for the locker room and my pre-office shower. Wrapped discreetly – and considerately – in a towel cinched at the waist, I headed to the shower.
As I passed a significantly younger gym denizen leaving the showers, he called out, “Now I know who you remind of!”
I stopped and turned, curious and asked, “Who?”
“Goldberg“!, he said, “You know, the wrestler.”
I was momentarily stunned. Goldberg? The once-upon-a-time WWF wrestling superstar!?! One of the very, very few wrestling personalities I recognize?!? (Sorry, boys.)
THE Goldberg?!? Wow!!
Holy freakin’ moly!! I wanted to run back out to the gym and do another 10 pushups … maybe flip that huge truck tire from hither to yon, just like all the other pumped up studs do!! Throw in a few dead lifts and power squats … and where did I put heavy bag gloves???
Then I ruined it all.
Instead of basking in the glow of an unexpected compliment and allowing the ‘roid-flavored accolade to soak into my obviously impressive physique, I said the stupidest thing possible in such a situation.
I said, “Really?” … a bit too eagerly, maybe a tad desperate.
“Yeah …”, he said, “Just a lot older.”
“Great …”, I muttered, and shuffled off to shower my deflated ego.
Moral of the Story: Shut up and keep your head down … especially at the gym!
UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that perhaps my gym counterpart was simply referring to me from the neck up; was high on highly-concentrated endorphin powder; or legally blind!
There is no evidence to support any of these claims. The observation was entirely free of descriptive limitation, qualification, bribery, mental defect, addiction or fanciful skullduggery!
We have been playing golf for over 30 years, some even longer. We enjoy and respect The Game. We love the fresh air and exercise. We love The Game. We are considerate and observant of golf’s expectations for efficient play and the condition the the courses we play.
What course would not want us as patrons willing to play and pay?
We have had our bad experiences, usually at the hand of golfers who are not quite so mindful or considerate. From those experiences, our appreciation for The Game and the correct way to play it has grown. Ultimately though, our pleasure in playing Golf comes from the enjoyment of playing with good friends on quality golf courses on beautiful days!
However, if you can identify with the pleasures of the game described above, you may want to avoid Bella Vista Golf Club in Gilbertsville, PA!
For my foursome Bella Vista has become a golf course to avoid. The golf course’s current management has completely ruined a very good thing. And for what? A customer service approach that emphasizes speed of play over the Enjoyment of Golf!
The Big Aha: What we did learn was a valuable lesson about the abuses of golf course GPS technology that would make Tony Sopranoblanche. The cart-mounted units allow Big Brother to micro-manage golfers like a incentives-crazed production line supervisor.
Our Experience: Teeing off at 0824 on a beautiful June morning, we settled in to enjoy a relaxing day on the golf course.
After some early struggles, our round settled in to a nice rhythm. We were playing our round at a pace not unheard of for a Saturday morning in June. At least in our opinion …
Being well-experienced golfers, we are always mindful of those playing behind us and the drag it can be when waiting around to hit your next shot. But forcing players – to the point of confrontation – to maintain sight of the group ahead can be subjective and unfair, since several factors can magnify any gaps between foursomes.
On this Saturday, we can claim that at no time were the golfers playing immediately behind us ever standing around and waiting to play a shot. In fact, when going over the incredible developments of that day, we could not even remember seeing the trailing foursome after the 2nd or 3rd hole. Only on the 10th tee did we delay our play in the name of Bloody Marys and hotdogs!
Somewhere around the 5th or 6th hole a wandering Course Ranger (Let’s call him Todd.) approached us and advised that we had a hole-and-a-half open in front of us. Not a desirable pace, so we agreed to pick it up as best we could. Again, no golfers waiting behind us. In fact, we could not even see the following foursome.
Fast forward to the 11th hole, when “Todd” approached us again and now DEMANDED that we pick up our pace, claiming that we were holding up the entire flight of golfers behind us. When we pointed back to the 11th tee, where we had been just minutes before, no golfers were visible. Yet “Todd” actually claimed that those golfers – invisible to us on the fairway – were “being polite” (whatever that meant) … apparently wearing camouflage and hiding among the bushes and trees!
When we argued, “Todd” whipped out his iPad and proceeded to show – via a full-color graph – how our pace-of-play was “holding up everyone on the golf course”! So we once again pointed back to the empty 11th tee, and asked him where the hold-up was?
But at least the iPad revealed what the REAL problem was. A data-driven “golf quota”, no doubt fed from cart GPS units to a programmed spreadsheet that fed “Todd’s” tablet and drove him to become a golf course pest of unequaled persistence.
Tony Soprano was right all along! The Authorities could use the cart GPS to harass golfers!
“Take out the GPS. I don’t want the FBI tracking us with it.” – Tony Soprano
“That’s what I like about you, boss; you are always thinking of the big picture.” Paulie Walnuts Gualtieri.
Then the ridiculous turned unbelievable when “Todd” demanded that we SKIP the par-3 12th hole to bring our pace-of-play up to standard! We pointedly demurred as we struggled to determine which episode of “The Twilight Zone” we had stumbled into.
Fast forward to the 13th tee after we ignored the “advice” to skip a hole. And here comes the course superintendent to add in his $0.02, which was more like $4 as he proceeds to argue for 10 minutes. In other words, interrupting our round to preach about pace-of-play while repeatedly stating that he “hated to be out there” harassing his customers.
By now we were disgusted; could not wait to get out of there; realizing we were playing our last round at Bella Vista GC. We have been spreading the word and this ridiculous story ever since!
But let’s review …
1. Yes, nothing screws up a golf round more than playing behind extremely slow golfers and having to wait continuously to play a shot.
2. Our foursome never saw anyone playing behind us, let alone waiting to hit their shots. Not ONCE anywhere during our round, including the roughly 20 minutes during which we were preoccupied by the lunacy of being accused of slowing down the entire golf course!
3. Pace-of-play is a noble concept. But it needs to be pressed judiciously, not a blind data-driven blip on a graph or spreadsheet! Think Gabe Kapler pulling Aaron Nola in the 5th inning on Opening Day!
4. How do you blame golfers for delaying play when none of the foursomes playing behind are being directly held up by your “slow play”! If they were, for any length of time, many golfers will either confront you directly or will take the passive-aggressive approach of “hitting up on you”. Neither occurred this day …
And that’s where we will leave this episode of “The Twilight Show”, Tony Soprano-golfer style.
What we will never do again is play Bella Vista GC. A review of on-line ratings suggest this is not the first time course personnel have made dubious pace-of-play claims that have ruined the good mood, experiences, and monetary investments of area golfers!
Do the smart thing, if you enjoy a relaxing round of golf, and avoid playing at Bella Vista GC in Gilbertsville, PA!