Let’s get back to Weather sanity!

Coal-Fired-Power-PlantThat’s it!  I have reached my wits end.  It is time to take action.

Obviously, Global Warming has blown a tire these last two Winters, so I have decided it’s time to reverse this silly climate change process.

But don’t worry, my little snow bunnies, I’m onto the solution!

To wit, I am requesting bids to build a coal-fired electrical plant in my back yard.  Said plant must be designed to raise the temps in my little swath of Snow-ylvania by at least an average of 10 degrees.

607271-cowIn addition, the facility must accommodate a herd of cattle (allegedly REAL co-culprits in Global Warming/cooling/changing due to their … uh … cow pies) as an extra measure of potential temp increase.

Finally, the coal-cow facility must also accommodate a fertilizer plant capable of producing massive amounts of nitrous oxide which can be released untreated into the atmosphere.

In ten years my Pennsylvania neighbors will be happily donning swimsuits and flip flops on New Years Eve!

No need to thank …

Snow humor (such as it is)

Good news: We did get our Philly Inquirer today!
Bad news: I found it with the snow blower.

Was discussing the beautiful light blue hue today’s heavy snow had as you dug into its depth. Asked my neighbor, “What do you call snow when it’s blue like this?” He replied with a grunt, “Heavy (insert your favorite off-color adjective) blue snow!

How do you stop the snow plows from sealing in your driveway?
heavy weapons

Who gets to clear your neighbor’s driveway because they left two days ago for Florida?
Somebody else …

Super HoHum

Pre-snap high-fiving, a common Superbowl party faux pas

Pre-snap high-fiving,
a common Superbowl party faux pas

So another Superbowl Sunday is upon us.

Yippee …

Another opportunity to watch The Big Game with a crowd of one-time-a-year football fans.  The same ones who will make insightful contributions and ask pointless questions throughout The Big Game until a mortuary silence descends in stunning suddenness at every commercial break.

Yep … Fun times …

I have long decided that most seasons the Best Pro Football Games are played in the weekends of the Division and Conference Championship games.  The mania of Superbowl week just stokes a lot of distraction and the interests of the football shoobies.

Peyton, the guy waving his hands

Peyton, the guy waving his hands

A good thing for the NFL corporatists, not so much if you actually like to get inside the game; enjoy Joe Buck’s insights (ducking behind the couch); and hear Peyton (Broncos quarterback, the guy who will be standing behind the players, who are all bending over, waving his hands around like Abbie Lee Miller on “Dance Moms“) playing mind games at the line of scrimmage (that’s the place where they spot the ball before every play).

The Superbowl has evolved into a huge social event, as opposed to a reason to watch a really good football game, over the decades since few people cared about the Green Bay Packers (They are not playing today.) manhandling the Kansas City Chiefs (Andy Reid’s new team, also not playing today) 35-10 in the first Superbowl (1967), back when The Big Game wasn’t even called the Superbowl (AFL-NFL World Championship Game).

200px-Super_Bowl_logo.svgBut that’s OK.  After any event has a successful run as long as this one has, it takes on a life of its own.  I have gone to many Superbowl happenings and have avoided others.

It all depends on the varied moods and interest levels of this cranky man.  And who’s playing …

If New England or New York was in it again, I’d probably welcome the chance to get be hopelessly distracted.

Today, I’ll just hunker down for this Superbowl Sunday and watch it in the comfort and relative quiet of my own home.  Hope it’s a good one!

My Philly wage taxes “at work”

imagesWhenever a big snow storm hits, I receive a rude awakening in what my Philadelphia City Wage Tax dollars accomplish for me as I travel to my Philly-hosted, U.S. Navy employment site.

The Navy installation I work at (Naval Support Activity Philadelphia) is located on Oxford Avenue maybe a mile inside the City from Cheltenham Township, my usual route into work.

This means I use maybe a mile of City streets each day (two miles roundtrip) to reach my work desk, which itself is situated on Federal property.  And for the pleasure of this jaunt along the pristine streets of Philadelphia I pay roughly $3900/year!

So unless I throw an embolism arguing with my boss over some inane minutia, requiring a police response or a stat med-evac, my lone benefit from that $3900 investment are those grand vistas along that mile stretch of Martin’s Mill Road.

Life don’t get any better than that!

So whenever it snows significantly and the region works hard to shake the white stuff from its broad shoulders, I notice – as I travel from my Horsham residence – the snow-cleared and salted streets of Horsham, Hatboro, Upper Moreland, Lower Moreland, Abington, and Cheltenham townships.  And I anticipate the glorious mess the Philadelphia streets still will be two full days after an annoying though thoroughly manageable snow fall.

The clean, salt-laced salted roads of the suburban Townships, those that get to enjoy nothing but my hometown income tax offset for suffering the Philadelphia Wage Tax, transition to the slushy, icy, still full-of-snow streets of a City that struggles to provide its tax-paying citizens bare, essential services.

And they wonder why the schools of Philadelphia are such a monumental mess!

If you cannot manage the simplest of services, how can you possibly do any better with such complex activities as education … regardless of how much money the State might pump in?!?  And how does that make YOU feel about what you might be paying in Philly wage taxes and the prospect of future demands for more of it?

Me?  I feel all slushy and iced over.

Because it’s mine

Was so, so close to having the garage finally cleared out from the renovations.

Plenty of room to move around.  No more playing Sliding Block Puzzle just to find the tool box.  Maybe even fit two cars in there for the snows expected tomorrow!

(Get your milk and bread! NOW!!)

And then it was finally time to get the father-in-law moved in.

Mike's Scratch 'n Dent

Mike’s Scratch ‘n Dent

I hate my life.

But my wife had some comforting words, “Stop whining.”

She doesn’t understand me.

How Snowden turned U.S. intel into a healthcare.gov Tech-Apocalypse

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The Federalist‘s Ben Domenech wrote a great analysis of how Eric Snowden‘s revelations hurt the U.S. when he released information on U.S. international intelligence operations that really had no relation to the protection of American privacy.  It only hurt U.S. intelligence efforts around the world.

And if you really think the U.S. shouldn’t be doing this at all, as if no other countries do whatever they can to figure out what the U.S. is up to or what our interests might be internationally, you are quite the naive one!

The other interesting development from President Obama’s speech yesterday was the decision (See second paragraph.) to allow his subordinates to determine and design a system for allowing access to U.S. phone records when needed for reasons of national security.

The president said he no longer wants the National Security Agency to maintain a database of such records. But he left the creation of a new system to subordinates and lawmakers, many of whom are divided on the need for reform.

Wait a second …

Isn’t this the same creative team with the same management and executive leadership that came up with the healthcare.gov website?!?

So how well will all of you be sleeping NOW with that little nugget of info???

No man is an Island … unless an Island he is

zombie-hands

Now I know what a Zombie Apocalypse
might look like …

I stand alone.  It’s official.

At some point this week, my last hope that good parenting, a quality standard of living, and the example – so often set here – that a grounded political philosophy can hold up to any intellectual challenge was smothered in the simple act of renewing a Pennsylvania driver’s license.

My youngest son changed his voter registration to Democrat.  And he is the smart one!

Was the smart one …

How did he express his change of affiliation when asked?  “I changed my mind.”

He made it sound like he was changing his socks.

Maybe it’s a statement on my Leadership.  Maybe I didn’t politically proselytize enough when the boys were so impressionable the correct politic would have been permanently ingrained, like their Philly accents.  Maybe I made one too many mistakes as a parent.

Oh well …

So now I am surrounded.  But that’s OK.  I can take solace in the following.

    • Neither one of them votes to my knowledge; and unfortunately, getting an Absentee Ballot is about to get a lot harder for one Temple Owl!
    • Mr. Hoot is also going to love taking the Broad St Subway back to school in the company of so many of his Democrat buds!
    • The two lost offspring who still list our home as primary residence do not as yet have to buy their own healthcare on those sterling examples of Government efficacy and Democrat “know how”, those Obamacare exchanges.  (I just want to be in the room when they find out how much they will be paying!)

doctor-obamacare

    • Neither have they had to worry about supporting themselves entirely on their own, and by doing so discover just how hard it is to stay ahead of the curve all the while supporting so many who simply don’t bother trying.
    • Nor do they possess the baseline from which they can gauge all that marvelous Hope and Change to which they are obviously drawn.
    • I still hold very limited influence over my Better Half. Carol votes Republican – I think – but has little interest in changing party affiliation for some reason.

In the end, I will continue to stand as the Lion at the Gate.  Politely accepting the political materials dropped off at the house by my Democrat opposition during elections cycles and quietly sorting the mail.   Not sure why those materials never seem to arrive with their intended receivers.

I guess all’s fair in Love and Poltics!

Of course I told the house’s latest Democrat that he will always be welcomed back into the real Party of Progress … once he regains his senses!

But for now, I am the lone Grand Old Party stalwart beating back the political zombies seeking to weaken the ramparts, while keeping the inmates calm and reassuring them that they can have their political say the second Tuesday of every November!

Christmas tree Wars

crooked treeA Cautionary Tale from Christmas 2012 …

Merry Christmas!

“So, how do you guys make sure … ?”

Those words were a precursor to a Christmas experience I had yet to have the “pleasure” of enjoying.  And as soon as I finished the rest of that sentence, I had one of those little voice-in-the-back-of-the-head premonitions of impending Yuletide Aggravation.

We were Christmas tree shopping two weekends before the holiday.  And we had found a suitable tree …

A suitable tree is a) alive, b) reasonably full and bushy, and c) fixable in places where it’s not reasonably full and bushy.  

After looking at the first 45 trees, I usually remind my spousal unit that the tree doesn’t have to be “perfect”, which always gets me that “Thank you, Captain Obvious!” tilted-head glare. 

As is the customary belief of REAL Christmas tree (i.e. green and alive) aficionados, Artificial Trees are reserved for the soul-less, Just-Add-Water Christmas types, and Communists.

Fidel Castro extolling the virtues of a straight - but artificial - Christmas tree!

Fidel Castro extolling the perfect alignment of artificial Communist Christmas trees.

… and so we arrange for a tree-rustler to grab our prized evergreen and head off to The Prep Area, where the tree trunk gets a fresh cut and – in our case – a hole drilled up the middle of the trunk to accommodate our center-post tree stand.

For years and years we used the traditional four-point screw clamp tree stands and never seemed to have a problem.  Then twice in three years we had trees topple over for no apparent reason; one time as we were walking out the door to attend Christmas Eve Mass.  

And so ever since we have relied upon our Center Post tree stand.

And this is where Christmas 2012 took its unanticipated cruise through uncharted waters.

The Mistake I made was to ignore the visual warning signs, despite the “uh oh” feeling I experienced after the following conversation, which resulted from my evaluation of the tree-drilling set-up.

“Hey, I’m just curious, but I notice you guys don’t have the self-check fixture on the top of the drill rig.”, as had been used at other tree establishments in years past.

“Yeah, the grounds not very level here, so we can’t use the fixture or the trees will come out drilled crookedly.”, the tree rustler offered. 

“So, how do you guys make sure you drill the tree straight?”, I asked.

“Oh well, I’ll hold the tree in place as straight as I can; and The Driller checks the alignment from three directions to make sure we get it straight.”

uh huh …

Actually, there were two mistakes made here.

The first was to turn our annual Christmas tree hunt into an “adventure”, where we tour 4-5 road-side tree lots before we head back to our known – and reliable – Christmas tree merchant because nothing we see – as Carol demands – jumps out and screams, “MERRY CHRISTMAS!!” … accompanied obviously by Schroeder, Lucy and the rest of the Charlie Brown gang singing Christmas Time is Here.

The second mistake was not bailing out as soon as I saw the tree-drilling set up or after hearing the explanation thereof.  It just didn’t occur to me that if the drill rig was not level, even if the tree was visually “straight”, the “crooked” drill rig would …

Well … you can guess what happened next.

Get the tree home, but wait until the next day – December 16 – to pop the tree into the center post tree stand.  At first I didn’t notice the Leaning Tree of Holiday Anguish.  I usually allow the tree to stand in the warm house so it falls out from its tightly wrapped handling and transportation configuration.

The next morning, I come down stairs on my way to work and check to see how the tree is falling out.

Oh no … You have got to be kidding me!  Crooked?!?  The damn thing is CROOKED!?!

At first I thought maybe the tree’s trunk is twisted.  So I turned the tree on its stand looking for both The Good Side of the evergreen and an angle where it didn’t look like a drunk leaning against a lamp post.  But no matter which way it was turned it looked somehow even worse!

2012 Tannenbaum II

2012 Tannenbaum II

So this Christmas season offered me the one holiday experience I had yet to encounter … The Return of a Christmas Tree.  After 50-plus years of Yuletide experience, you tend to believe you have seen it all.

Silly Santa …

Now some might say we were callous to reject an imperfect specimen.  Yes, it wasn’t the tree’s fault.  It was the boobs on the business end of a lopsided drill rig.

The tree vendors were nice enough about it.  They offered me another tree or a refund.  I made a cursory glance around for a replacement.  Although I have to admit, I didn’t WANT to find another one, which would be subject to the same off-kilter drilling process.

The tree purveyors offered a smile with my refund; and I trudged on back to the same old place we usually go, where the trees are on display with trunks pre-drilled so there’s no guesswork involved.  We ended up buying Tannenbaum II at our usual place and enjoyed a visually perfect Christmas!

The moral of the story is … “Familiarity breeds content.”

Also … “If it sounds too stupid to be done correctly, listen to that little voice in the back of your head.”

A Moderate trapped in RINO land

UnknownNo one wants to be unpopular, unwanted, or – worse – to feel used and abused.  Yet for a significant portion of the Republican Party, many are encouraged to express their political beliefs only on Election Day.  But when it comes to discussing the direction of the Party nationally and the Country in general, they better toe the most Conservative of party lines or prepare to be labeled.

For the past several years, it has become clear to self-described “moderate Republicans” that we are to sit quietly in the back; keep our thoughts to ourselves; and let the “real” Republicans make the grown-up decisions!

Yes, we are the RINOs (Republicans In Name Only).  And it’s getting more than a little tiring.

Used to be that various permutations of the Republican value set were welcomed in the development of the GOP platform.  We share the same values that fought slavery; checked the spread of post-WWII Communism; and punished the protagonists of radical Islamic terror.

We were welcomed in a strong coalition that valued – above everything – an efficacious American system of government.  Smaller bureaucracy, productive budgets and spending, and compassionate solutions to social problems were the mantras of Goldwater and Reagan that we all worked towards.

It was a coalition of minds, accepting of moderately divergent views toiling in unison on core values we all shared.

rino-republicansNow, you dare not step off the strict Conservative reservation or risk the dreaded RINO label!  This is an issue I have spoken of before in frustration at the lack of cooperation nationally and the loss of American governance.

In a recent article for the Providence Journal, Froma Harrop asked where have all the moderate Republicans gone?

Oh, we are here all right, hunkered down in our fox holes; reluctant to poke our heads above ground level.  We seem to make such inviting targets.

Many like me, who live in largely suburban-metropolitan areas where some of us have evolved politically over time from the Liberal leanings of youth towards more conservative views on matters of economics and national ideals, have taken solace in the age-old adage that “All politics are local.”  We work to keep our communities on sound fiscal footings, our schools and municipal infrastructures efficient and lean, our neighborhoods safe; and try to apply those same principles to County and State government.

But we dare not speak of our moderate approaches to social issues and the process of pragmatic governance, particularly on a National level.  Because if we do, we know immediately where we stand with the more assertive Voices of the GOP.

RINO!  You would think we were traitors to The Cause.

Certainly, if The Right wanted to portray us as CINOs (Conservative In Name Only), I wouldn’t complain.  CINO sounds more pleasant than RINO too!  But in the “good old days” you could indeed be less than Big C Conservative and still be considered a stand-up Republican.

Not so much any more.

Harrop makes a point which I believe go directly to the GOP Losses in the last two Presidential elections.  Both John McCain and Mitt Romney were weak (McCain) or weakened (Romney) candidates once they went head-to-head with Barack Obama.

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Shouldn’t be what a national Republican primary looks like

McCain was a horrible presidential candidate, although it’s difficult to believe he could have beaten the first African-American candidate regardless.  Instead, he was simply the last Crash Test Dummy to survive the 2008 GOP Primary Candidate Roast.  It wasn’t even that he was “conservative enough” to win the Party’s pageant.  He was simply smart enough to stay on the periphery and survive the carnage.

In Romney’s case, for an election he should have been well-positioned to win, he was faced with the choice of moving hard to the Right to win the nominating campaign.  Then he was faced with the prospect of a convention revolt to bring in a more Conservative nominee.

When he had finally nailed down the GOP’s endorsement, he was not only unrecognizable as the successful, bipartisan Governor of perhaps the most Liberal state in The Union, he had stumbled into several verbal traps that plagued his campaign throughout the National Election!

Defeat snatched from the jaws of Victory!

Used to be our moderate positions were viewed as the route to effective compromise, the bridge from one Far Side to the other Far Side.  The way efficient Governance was effected.

Not so much anymore …

Now we’re the ones stuck in No Man’s Land watching the rockets screaming over head between the Right and the Left.  That is when BOTH sides aren’t trying to outflank us and pick us off!

True story …

In the Spring of 2012 and the run-up to the Presidential Election, I was asked to participate in a TV show involving a round-table discussion of political issues, where two Democrats were to be paired off against two Republicans.  It was a small local cable access station in Abington, PA; and the gig lasted all of two shows before the Producer up and retired.  But I was flattered, and it was a trip just to be asked.

The experience was fun.  I held my own despite the nerves.  But it was clear that I was the more moderate of the two Rs participating that night.

After the first episode taped, my far more Conservative Republican counterpart and I went out to eat.  And our dinner conversation revolved around our various positions on a number of political and social issues.  When I wasn’t asked back for the second episode, but was mistakenly sent an e-mail with the agenda for episode 2.  I checked around and found out that my spot had been taken by a much more conservative Tea Party member.

The message – to me at least – was pretty clear.  Not Conservative enough …

Does he look scared?!?

If it comes to this, so be it!

Returning to Harrup’s question, my theory is that the RINOs – us RINOs – have tired so much of the frenetic fire fights, many of us have simply dropped out of the National Debate.  We draw fire from one side simply through association with a more conservative set of governing ideals with which we agree.  Then we get outflanked by those who believe us to be not “conservative enough” across the board.

No longer is it good enough to say we support a strong National Defense, the right to bear arms, and the need for sane, sustainable economic policies.  No, we must toe the entire line, including those positions on social issues which many of us believe weaken our beliefs in the sanctity of Individual Freedoms.

Every new iteration of the GOP seems to pull farther and farther away from us.  The Tea Party has a funny way of concerning itself with issues that never would have crossed the minds of the original Boston Tea Party contingent.

Libertarians appear to be the most attractive alternative until their dogma on international relations and geopolitical theory threatens a short-sighted return to a 1920s mindset, which turned into a World War disaster in the decades to follow.  And who wants that?!?

So what’s a RINO to do?

  1. Keep working the Local political scene to protect what you have and keep your streets and neighborhoods safe.
  2. Promote those core Republican values as they relate to Government, Economics, and the Rights of the Individual.  You may not agree with the recent strategy and tactics of national Republicans, however that’s no reason to abandon the economic values and limited government approach that makes the most sense locally.
  3. Don’t back down from the kind of conservatism you believe is best for the Country as a whole.  Moderate is not a dirty word!
  4. Cooperate at the County and State level with fellow Republicans and like-minded Democrats to promote Business growth and expansion, more jobs, lower taxes, and compassionate solutions to social problems.
  5. Be mindful that taking pride in the concept of Individual Liberty requires the Freedom for individuals to define their own way of life on their own terms, according to their own set of values.
  6. And above all, always wear your helmet and body armor; and keep your head down!

If you appreciate the core values of true Conservatism, remember that it’s easier to instigate change from the inside.  A true Conservative would not leave because they are disenchanted with Leadership.  They fight for what they believe in!

There's power in numbers

There’s power in numbers

Shower King

Ferris Bueller was certainly King of his shower!

Ferris Bueller was certainly
King of his shower!

Wonderful is the life of The King of the Castle!

After weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks of travel to painstakingly select the finest materials from all The Land; begrudgingly indulging the persistent needs of The Craftsmen as they toiled to produce a suite suitable to the Household Royalty; and living in the relative squalor of cramped Guest Accommodations, this morning it was This Lord of This Castle’s decision to christen the newly renovated Monarch’s Personal Retreat and Shower Hall!

Merlin-esque plumbery

Merlin-esque plumbery

As I enjoyed the warm, luxurious stream of an opulently appointed Monument to Modern Plumbery, I marvelled at the wondrous gifts of Nature and almost Merlin-like Saucery that surrounded me.  I bathed in appreciation for the impressive talents of the Artisans of the Land.

As I completed the showering process …

(Sorry … No photography was allowed for obvious reasons of Taste and in the interest of preserving the Public’s Vision and Sanity.)

… in preparation for my day among The Inhabitants of the Realm, I recalled a recent admonition from The Queen of The Manor.

“You better make sure you squeegee the glass shower door!”

Huh …?

Now I’m pretty sure there was a “Your Highness” added to that suggestion, but I might be imagining that.

So there I was … in all my Royal Splendor this morning …

(Again … Sorry, no pics.)

OK ... Here's a pic.  Use your imagination.

OK … Here’s a pic.
Use your imagination.

Working that squeegee like a one-armed Royal Window Washer …

‘Cause – ya know – I needed the other hand to keep the towel properly positioned!

Anyways, if you ever want a Crown-worthy Challenge, try squeegeeing the lower portions of a glass shower door while attempting to maintain Your Royal Dignity!

Then please, tell me how many weeks I need to keep doing this silly housekeeping chore without invoking The Queen’s Wrath …